Wednesday
Seven Stars
Analog
I can grab the fireworks, the soda, all the cookies we can eat
Make you nauseous but be cautious, this is not Dawson's Creek
We could sneak away, fuck it, you could bring an eighth
I'm not gon' smoke but I'm just asking baby сould you meet me by the lake?
Said bring a towel, well baby meet me by the lake
Bathing suit it's going down, shit just meet me by the lake
We could count the shooting stars, well could you meet me by the lake?
Summer never has to end with me
When I wake it’s with Wa-Pow! kick like motion that sends the covers flying off the bed, I barrel roll off the mattress to land standing in attack position, ready for the day, so keen, ready for battle, war.
I bow at my invisible sensei and proceed to get cleaned up for breakfast, on the way to the bathroom I fart out the first few bars to the Get Smart TV theme song as I make my way to the toilet.
Downstairs, I meet Lively for breakfast and we sit inside today choosing to sit at a small table for two that is secluded overlooking the buffet. We don’t say much, only pointing out that there’s no one else seated anywhere near us and I pause to wonder whether it could be because the two of us are both wearing PedoBear t-shirts.
By 9:30 the crew is assembled for deployment, Kym has decided not to join us today, electing to visit a post war Pewter factory across town.
In between his usual early morning cigarettes and coffee Joggy and Jeff have been talking to the concierge about organising some transport for us all to Sunway Lagoon. Joggy arranges it so that the hotel will drive us all out to Sunway for a fixed amount with the agreement that they will pick us all up once we’re done for the day, all we have to do is to call them with 30 minutes prior notice. This is excellent and the driver says that he’ll help us all get our park entrance passes once we get there, too easy.
We gather around the front of the hotel, Jeff makes sure that we’re all dressed in our PedoBear shirts and while it’s stupid crazy shit, nobody else besides people who troll the internet will get the joke. When we bundle inside the van, we look like a PedoBear athletics team for overweight lovers, and we’re head off towards Sunway. Soon we get onto the freeway and suprisingly this morning’s traffic is not that difficult to manage, this is our only daylight opportunity to be able to take in all the sights of the outer suburbs, the urban sprawl, the differences between the rich and the poor.
Take for example, we see a Lexus dealership in all its magnificence positioned only a few doors down from a dingy looking scooter repair shop. And it’s this constant juxtaposition between the haves and have nots all the way to Sunway, mansions versus apartment blocks, jungle and concrete jungle.
When we get to Sunway it’s still early as the park won’t open for another half hour, we go inside the Sunway Lagoon shopping mall just as it’s opening and decide to wander about. I change over some bills for ringgits and we make our way towards the food court. I stop at Wendy’s eager to try out a breakfast burger except the kitchen isn’t in full swing. I follow Nathan over to the crooked colonel and look at the KL equivalent of a KFC breakfast menu. I order a chicken and egg burger, hash browns and Coke. I bite into the chicken and munch half way through and I notice that the meat is still a bit pink in the middle. I show this to Nathan, Jeff and Lively and they all say, “Oooh fuck that”, but something in my head says, “Do it like champion” and I proceed to scoff down the rest of the breakie burger. I put the rest of my breakfast in the bin and grab a soft pretzel while coming away from the food court. While walking back the way we came we decide that we’ll all buy our own towels for the day, the thought is that while the park will supply you with a towel you have no idea the condition of the towel so it’s probably a good idea if we bring our own. This was the whole basis of my China Town towel search.
We go inside a Manchester store and each buy the biggest towels they have. I buy this big ass black towel that goes around my gut easily. When we check the time it’s already close to the time when we had arranged to meet up with our driver. Our hotel driver has purchased for us a series of wrist watch shaped Sunway lagoon entry passes, they’re electronic so this allows you to swipe in and out of various attractions around the park. Back in my day we used to have a piece of coloured plastic, this new electronic method is much smarter. We’re all grateful for our drivers efforts and he reminds us all to call him 30 minutes prior to pick up and we all hurry off inside the park.
Inside the park the weather is hot and humid, to the point it’s steamy in places. We find our way to the big super slides and stop here to find some lockers. On the adventure map we find a set of lockers not too away from the park entrance but then we decide to walk to a more central point to a position where there are lockers should suit everyone if we wanna peel off and do something separately. We also discover that you can put cash on your wrist band as it has an inbuilt RFID tag to tag on and off for various purchases around the park. This makes sense and I put a hundred ringgit down on my wrist pass. Nathan does the same. We find an empty locker and dump our wallets, shoes and things we won’t use right away. The first thing we want to check out is the quad bikes and also the paint ball circuit.
When we get to Extreme Adventure part of the park we discover that the wrist passes our driver has bought for us are only the most basic, which covers entry, the slides, pools, that once inside the park really offer us fuck all else. We go to see what we’re missing out on and notice that the quads are these pissy little kid bikes and there is no Extreme Adventure course for these, instead you have to play follow the leader as he guides you around in single file along paved footpaths around the park.
Jeff and Joggy go to check out what else you can get for these orange wrist bands and a park attendant basically laughs when Joggy tries to negotiate for entry into the paint ball arena. It’s like we can’t even change them over.
While walking around in the humidity I feel my stomach double over, I first felt it when we got to the lockers but now it’s making me really get sick to the point where I’m dizzy while walking. I tell Joggy that I have to stop and get water and find a toilet. While I do this he Jeff and Lively all go and fire off arrows at archery range that is permitted on our wrist passes.
I go inside a set of toilets and manage to take a shit and wash my ass with a bum gun. I try and puke but nothing comes up, not even bile. Though I start to feel a bit better and come outside and see Nathan waiting for me, he asks, “You should drink some water” and he ushers me over to a stand where I swipe my wrist pass for a bottle of water.
I’m careful not to over do it on the water and take liberal mouth fulls, this doesn’t help much I feel like I am getting worse by the minute and it shows. We catch up with the boys at the archery range and while there I manage to fire off three arrows and then I feel my stomach go sideways and I tell Nathe that I have to stop and walk back to the toilets. Inside the toilet I try and puke three more times and nothing happens, I wretch with this awful sound but nothing gives, I just feel completely wrong to the point where I’m panicked and I start wondering how the fuck am I going to get out of here.
I come out of the toilets and find Jeff, Lively, Joggy and Soly all hanging out by a drinks bar and Jeff tells me to take a shower and have a paddle around in the wading pool to try and bring my body temperature down. But as he says this he can see as I’m turning yellow and green and he says, “Man you really are sick, it’s that dodgy chicken”. Joggy says, “What are you gonna do Mr. B” and I tell him I’m gonna make it back to the front gates and get a taxi back to the hotel. And I have personal reservations as to whether or not I’ll actually make it back to the front gates. Naturally Joggy and the lads are disappointed when it seems that I’m going to have to bail out on todays adventure, this sucks balls as I’d looked forward to it all week, I feel cheated and also feel as though I’ve let down the crew. But the fellas all understand what’s gone down, it’s food poisoning most likely and besides nobody wants to be sick in an Asian country.
Inside the park the weather is hot and humid, to the point it’s steamy in places. We find our way to the big super slides and stop here to find some lockers. On the adventure map we find a set of lockers not too away from the park entrance but then we decide to walk to a more central point to a position where there are lockers should suit everyone if we wanna peel off and do something separately. We also discover that you can put cash on your wrist band as it has an inbuilt RFID tag to tag on and off for various purchases around the park. This makes sense and I put a hundred ringgit down on my wrist pass. Nathan does the same. We find an empty locker and dump our wallets, shoes and things we won’t use right away. The first thing we want to check out is the quad bikes and also the paint ball circuit.
When we get to Extreme Adventure part of the park we discover that the wrist passes our driver has bought for us are only the most basic, which covers entry, the slides, pools, that once inside the park really offer us fuck all else. We go to see what we’re missing out on and notice that the quads are these pissy little kid bikes and there is no Extreme Adventure course for these, instead you have to play follow the leader as he guides you around in single file along paved footpaths around the park.
Jeff and Joggy go to check out what else you can get for these orange wrist bands and a park attendant basically laughs when Joggy tries to negotiate for entry into the paint ball arena. It’s like we can’t even change them over.
While walking around in the humidity I feel my stomach double over, I first felt it when we got to the lockers but now it’s making me really get sick to the point where I’m dizzy while walking. I tell Joggy that I have to stop and get water and find a toilet. While I do this he Jeff and Lively all go and fire off arrows at archery range that is permitted on our wrist passes.
I go inside a set of toilets and manage to take a shit and wash my ass with a bum gun. I try and puke but nothing comes up, not even bile. Though I start to feel a bit better and come outside and see Nathan waiting for me, he asks, “You should drink some water” and he ushers me over to a stand where I swipe my wrist pass for a bottle of water.
I’m careful not to over do it on the water and take liberal mouth fulls, this doesn’t help much I feel like I am getting worse by the minute and it shows. We catch up with the boys at the archery range and while there I manage to fire off three arrows and then I feel my stomach go sideways and I tell Nathe that I have to stop and walk back to the toilets. Inside the toilet I try and puke three more times and nothing happens, I wretch with this awful sound but nothing gives, I just feel completely wrong to the point where I’m panicked and I start wondering how the fuck am I going to get out of here.
I come out of the toilets and find Jeff, Lively, Joggy and Soly all hanging out by a drinks bar and Jeff tells me to take a shower and have a paddle around in the wading pool to try and bring my body temperature down. But as he says this he can see as I’m turning yellow and green and he says, “Man you really are sick, it’s that dodgy chicken”. Joggy says, “What are you gonna do Mr. B” and I tell him I’m gonna make it back to the front gates and get a taxi back to the hotel. And I have personal reservations as to whether or not I’ll actually make it back to the front gates. Naturally Joggy and the lads are disappointed when it seems that I’m going to have to bail out on todays adventure, this sucks balls as I’d looked forward to it all week, I feel cheated and also feel as though I’ve let down the crew. But the fellas all understand what’s gone down, it’s food poisoning most likely and besides nobody wants to be sick in an Asian country.
As i’m ready to shove off I turn to Nathe and say I’ll give you the key to the locker and the credit on my wrist band but he says, “Nah, fuck that” and proceeds to help me back to the lockers, unpack the gear from the locker into a bag and walk me back up the escalators, he helps me arm in arm up the hill towards the park gates which seem to be miles away. Nathe, is my champion and may I never forget his heroics for as long as I shall live, it’s the sort of memories old war veterans have for one another although the only war going on the battle inside my belly.
Nathe god bless his soul, he gets me the fuck outta there, gets me through the front gates, then gets the credit back off the wrist bands and goes and hollers a taxi to take us back to the hotel.
I try and tell him to stay and that I’ll be okay once the driver has the destination, but he is dismissive, he says something about getting sick overseas once himself and that he probably has a better idea that the other guys of what to do. He says reassuringly that he didn’t really care about missing out on the park and he says that instead he’ll catch up with Kym and do some shopping around town.
My heart goes out to him with a gentle “Awwww you” and he smiles and says, “You’d do the same for me mate” and he’s right, I absolutely would.
I try and tell him to stay and that I’ll be okay once the driver has the destination, but he is dismissive, he says something about getting sick overseas once himself and that he probably has a better idea that the other guys of what to do. He says reassuringly that he didn’t really care about missing out on the park and he says that instead he’ll catch up with Kym and do some shopping around town.
My heart goes out to him with a gentle “Awwww you” and he smiles and says, “You’d do the same for me mate” and he’s right, I absolutely would.
Nathan bundles me into a taxi, it’s a cheap shitty red one, he climbs into the front seat and I lay sprawled across the back seat with a towel over my head, I can feel every fucking bump and I sort of pass out there for a while, in and out of consciousness and the sickness really hits me. When I see the Marco Polo hotel and the golfing shop through the windows I know that the hotel isn’t far.
The rest is a blur as to how I got back to my room, I recall Nathan helping me out of the car and walking to the elevators. I recall him calling Kym on his mobile and that he surprises her with the news that he’s back. He gets me to my room and asks, “Can you take it from here” I smile bleakly and tell him, “Yeah” and he says that he’ll call later and check up on me.
As soon as the door to my room closes I go into full lock down mode, I close the blinds, go inside the bathroom and find a metal waste paper bin that will act as bucket, I down some tablets Lively has lent me called GastroStop and also down some Panadine forte and a couple of Valium, I turn on the TV and see that Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief is playing on TV. I slide into bed naked, I put a wet flannel over my face and pull the doona up around my neck and pass out.
The rest is a blur as to how I got back to my room, I recall Nathan helping me out of the car and walking to the elevators. I recall him calling Kym on his mobile and that he surprises her with the news that he’s back. He gets me to my room and asks, “Can you take it from here” I smile bleakly and tell him, “Yeah” and he says that he’ll call later and check up on me.
As soon as the door to my room closes I go into full lock down mode, I close the blinds, go inside the bathroom and find a metal waste paper bin that will act as bucket, I down some tablets Lively has lent me called GastroStop and also down some Panadine forte and a couple of Valium, I turn on the TV and see that Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief is playing on TV. I slide into bed naked, I put a wet flannel over my face and pull the doona up around my neck and pass out.
* * *
When I wake it’s just in time to make it to the toilet to puke and it’s an awful sickly feeling. I shower once but it’s too quick and after i’m in bed for another 30 minutes I have to roll right of bed again to puke and shit at the same time. Joy.
I take another shower only this is longer and I sit on the bottom of the shower with the shower rose pointed at my head. This feels good, the spray of the water drowns out all consciousness, I stay in the shower long enough until I feel as though I can make it back to bed. Once bedside I take a few more pills and manage to sleep through until the late afternoon.
I take another shower only this is longer and I sit on the bottom of the shower with the shower rose pointed at my head. This feels good, the spray of the water drowns out all consciousness, I stay in the shower long enough until I feel as though I can make it back to bed. Once bedside I take a few more pills and manage to sleep through until the late afternoon.
* * *
I wake to a phone call, it’s coming from my mobile phone which sits on the bureau across the room.
As I walk to it I open the curtains and take in the amber glow of the afternoon light, I answer the phone on the fourth or fifth ring. I manage, “Hello?” and it’s Nathe true to his word wanting to see if I’m alright, I tell him I’m doing better and that I should be okay to meet up soon, he stresses at me to not over do it. He tells me he’s downstairs with the gang drinking cocktails and he wonders if I’ll be up for some drinks in the club lounge later on and I tell him we’ll see.
I sit in bed watching TV and thankfully Percy Jackson has finished playing. I see some shorts of this week’s The Walking Dead and I know that if I can stay focused I’ll be okay.
After an hour or so Jeff knocks on my door and comes in, he sits down on the edge of the bed and tells me what I already know, “Shouldn’t have ate that chicken dude”, and all I can do is nod my head soberly. From a plastic bag he offers me a big stuffed blue duck dressed in a sailors outfit, it’s the Sunway lagoon mascot. He smiles and says, “Lively and Joggy thought it might be appropriate”.
With the fading of the afternoon light Jeff says “Come on lets go upstairs” I change into my Nike straight legged trackpants and put on my New Balance kicks and Jeff guides me upstairs to the club lounge. I bring along my tablet and while the others are drinking I begin, very slowly to play catch up on emails.
hey kel,
Sorry i haven't written back
Its been two weird and wonderful days
I almost didn't make it to breakfast Tuesday morning after the hell raising from Monday night
I woke at 3am and basically felt wrong
It took most of the morning but i made it to brekkie
I was unsure if it was an iced coffee or something else, definitely not the beer, only had some with dinner out on Changkrat Road. Then later I had a few vodka tonic’s while listening to the hotel band.
Anyway, I made it to breakfast.
Tuesday we went to KLCC, I did some shopping of course
The Bali belly kinda eased off after lunch
That night we ended up eating a midnight dinner off the al a carte menu, I ate the club sandwich, yum.
So, I get up this morning and I’m fine
I eat brekkie, no drama.
Then we bus it out to Sunway Lagoon
But before we go into the park we grab a snack at KFC
Then 20 mins later the belly beast returns
I go white and attempt to chuck three times, failing each time
The park was a total rip off, they get you to buy this park credit and then you can't use it on any of the good stuff.
As I walk to it I open the curtains and take in the amber glow of the afternoon light, I answer the phone on the fourth or fifth ring. I manage, “Hello?” and it’s Nathe true to his word wanting to see if I’m alright, I tell him I’m doing better and that I should be okay to meet up soon, he stresses at me to not over do it. He tells me he’s downstairs with the gang drinking cocktails and he wonders if I’ll be up for some drinks in the club lounge later on and I tell him we’ll see.
I sit in bed watching TV and thankfully Percy Jackson has finished playing. I see some shorts of this week’s The Walking Dead and I know that if I can stay focused I’ll be okay.
After an hour or so Jeff knocks on my door and comes in, he sits down on the edge of the bed and tells me what I already know, “Shouldn’t have ate that chicken dude”, and all I can do is nod my head soberly. From a plastic bag he offers me a big stuffed blue duck dressed in a sailors outfit, it’s the Sunway lagoon mascot. He smiles and says, “Lively and Joggy thought it might be appropriate”.
With the fading of the afternoon light Jeff says “Come on lets go upstairs” I change into my Nike straight legged trackpants and put on my New Balance kicks and Jeff guides me upstairs to the club lounge. I bring along my tablet and while the others are drinking I begin, very slowly to play catch up on emails.
hey kel,
Sorry i haven't written back
Its been two weird and wonderful days
I almost didn't make it to breakfast Tuesday morning after the hell raising from Monday night
I woke at 3am and basically felt wrong
It took most of the morning but i made it to brekkie
I was unsure if it was an iced coffee or something else, definitely not the beer, only had some with dinner out on Changkrat Road. Then later I had a few vodka tonic’s while listening to the hotel band.
Anyway, I made it to breakfast.
Tuesday we went to KLCC, I did some shopping of course
The Bali belly kinda eased off after lunch
That night we ended up eating a midnight dinner off the al a carte menu, I ate the club sandwich, yum.
So, I get up this morning and I’m fine
I eat brekkie, no drama.
Then we bus it out to Sunway Lagoon
But before we go into the park we grab a snack at KFC
Then 20 mins later the belly beast returns
I go white and attempt to chuck three times, failing each time
The park was a total rip off, they get you to buy this park credit and then you can't use it on any of the good stuff.
Anyway god bless Nathan as he got me the hell out of there
I was feverish, it was scary.
He got us a red taxi, back the hotel, and then I got straight into bed.
So, with that most of day has been wasted
I’m a little pissed off with my belly, but hey.
I’m gonna try and get out to SOGO tonite to at least check it out.
I’m in the club lounge right now and I’m gonna make a move
Love,
BB
I was feverish, it was scary.
He got us a red taxi, back the hotel, and then I got straight into bed.
So, with that most of day has been wasted
I’m a little pissed off with my belly, but hey.
I’m gonna try and get out to SOGO tonite to at least check it out.
I’m in the club lounge right now and I’m gonna make a move
Love,
BB
As we’re finishing up in the club lounge I wonder where everyone else is, Jeff says that - Joggy and Soly are still resting in their rooms and Nathe and Kym are somewhere else, possibly shopping.
Jeff asks me if I have any interest in going to Times Square with him and Lively before dinner and for some reason I say, “Fuck it” I mean why not, half the day has been wasted and a visit to Times Square probably won’t hurt.
We take a taxi out to Times Square and immediately head towards the level where the model stores are located. We go inside two of them and Jeff says, “They’re not as good as they were last time” and he’s right they don’t seem as good. Jeff points out to Lively all the different Gundam kits he has, “I have that one, that one, that one” and so on. He has almost all of them.
We come down a few floors and we find a hip hop shop selling t-shirts at a cheap price and I try a few on and in the change room notice that it’s bombed with graffiti. I ask the owner if I can drop my tag in there with one of his markers and he says “Sure, go for it”. I end up buying two XXL t-shirts and Lively asks around for DC’s to no avail.
Down another floor and we head into the Factory Outlet Store or F.O.S for short, I don’t see any Ralph Lauren t-shirts like we normally do but I see a whole display of Canterbury shorts and pants.
I see a lot of Lyle and Scott polo tops and from first glance you can tell that there’s something way wrong with these. The colours are super bad and the logo isn’t how it is normally, it’s so obviously fake it hurts. So we leave and begin our decent for the ground floor.
Jeff asks is there anything else I had wanted to look at and I tell him that i wouldn’t mind checking out Borders bookstore. We go into Borders and after a few minutes decide that it’s crap and I echo the words Jeff said earlier. “It’s not as good as it was last year”. I look at a few books that might be worthy candidates for the flight home, World War Z is tempting, then I um and ah over a graphic novel of – Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, but it’s a series and they are 90RM each and there’s 5 volumes and not all are available in the store, so I skip it.
At the Times Square taxi rank we go into the 7-11 and I buy a few energy drinks that I hope will restore the electrolytes. Jeff goes to the taxi cashiers stand and buys a prepaid ticket for the taxi ride home.
When we come back to the hotel and we’re running out of time for dinner, Jeff suggests that we eat dinner in the hotel’s international buffet, as we haven’t done that yet. Jeff says he can get a two for one, so this cements the deal. Once we get going I manage to eat about a side plate of food and I feel sick. I walk to the toilet, dry heave and then come back to Jeff and lively and tell them I’m going to have to go back to bed. I go to give Jeff some money and he says, “Don’t worry, I got ya”
Riding up to my room in the elevator I know that the guys will soldier on without me, the intent is to have a piss up in the sports bar, it’s Soly’s birthday and I feel ashamed I’m going to miss that.
Jeff asks me if I have any interest in going to Times Square with him and Lively before dinner and for some reason I say, “Fuck it” I mean why not, half the day has been wasted and a visit to Times Square probably won’t hurt.
We take a taxi out to Times Square and immediately head towards the level where the model stores are located. We go inside two of them and Jeff says, “They’re not as good as they were last time” and he’s right they don’t seem as good. Jeff points out to Lively all the different Gundam kits he has, “I have that one, that one, that one” and so on. He has almost all of them.
We come down a few floors and we find a hip hop shop selling t-shirts at a cheap price and I try a few on and in the change room notice that it’s bombed with graffiti. I ask the owner if I can drop my tag in there with one of his markers and he says “Sure, go for it”. I end up buying two XXL t-shirts and Lively asks around for DC’s to no avail.
Down another floor and we head into the Factory Outlet Store or F.O.S for short, I don’t see any Ralph Lauren t-shirts like we normally do but I see a whole display of Canterbury shorts and pants.
I see a lot of Lyle and Scott polo tops and from first glance you can tell that there’s something way wrong with these. The colours are super bad and the logo isn’t how it is normally, it’s so obviously fake it hurts. So we leave and begin our decent for the ground floor.
Jeff asks is there anything else I had wanted to look at and I tell him that i wouldn’t mind checking out Borders bookstore. We go into Borders and after a few minutes decide that it’s crap and I echo the words Jeff said earlier. “It’s not as good as it was last year”. I look at a few books that might be worthy candidates for the flight home, World War Z is tempting, then I um and ah over a graphic novel of – Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, but it’s a series and they are 90RM each and there’s 5 volumes and not all are available in the store, so I skip it.
At the Times Square taxi rank we go into the 7-11 and I buy a few energy drinks that I hope will restore the electrolytes. Jeff goes to the taxi cashiers stand and buys a prepaid ticket for the taxi ride home.
When we come back to the hotel and we’re running out of time for dinner, Jeff suggests that we eat dinner in the hotel’s international buffet, as we haven’t done that yet. Jeff says he can get a two for one, so this cements the deal. Once we get going I manage to eat about a side plate of food and I feel sick. I walk to the toilet, dry heave and then come back to Jeff and lively and tell them I’m going to have to go back to bed. I go to give Jeff some money and he says, “Don’t worry, I got ya”
Riding up to my room in the elevator I know that the guys will soldier on without me, the intent is to have a piss up in the sports bar, it’s Soly’s birthday and I feel ashamed I’m going to miss that.
I go to bed feeling absolutely fucked, but glad that I did try and eat something, my only saving grace is that The Walking Dead is on TV and as I lay there propped up by the pillows I have a little laugh to myself watching the dead shuffle on by, knowing we both have that feeling of death in common.
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