Twin-ness
Part One of Sister-kind
My sister Kelly gets me, the sass and lyrical composure in her speak, succinctly equal to my own.
It’s built from an attitude we share, a twin like characteristic that involves a no BS approach to most things, with the idea to cut through the chaff and let’s get to the point while glossing over key points without the need for small talk.
And I know I don’t get it from my mother or father, it’s from something else, perhaps it’s come out of our generation, the whip smart language of disfranchised Gen–X counter culture or edgey television serials or maybe it’s borne from something else that is only shared between siblings.
Over the years I like to think I’ve broaden a bit, I moved over to SA when I was 17 and then at 24 moved over to cosmopolitan Melbourne for 8.5 years. There I learnt so much about myself, about change, acceptance and set myself up for a new direction in terms of both lifestyle and career as a result of the time spent there.
My experiences through adolescence have given me the street smarts to make it, whether that’s the grift applied to business or lent to communication with people at any level, but what I deem as most important has been this survival mechanism I have that gives me the ability to pack up and go, to live in any town. This survivor’s instinct offers a different form of confidence where I’m certain I can start over, find work, find friends, play house. It’s been a common enough reoccurrence in my life where sea changes come into effect almost every 7-8 years.
In the time between then and now my sister and I haven’t been as close as we were as children, but still the duty, love, devotion to one another remains. We have relearnt how to express that to one another, sharing ourselves and over time I recognise that she is the stronger, the wiser of the two of us. My trust in her judgement, her knowledge and influence has been a huge component in my own reintegration into my family.
While we share certain commonalities that act as a mirror to one another I should point out that we are in fact not twins and that these common characteristics have helped create a bond, a twin-ness as I like to think of it, as brother and sister, we share our own private language.
Of the things we share together the love of fashion and lifestyle is immediate, we both come from a extremely humble background where the lives we are living today are the best they have ever been.
We have nice lives, nice things and we like to feel as though are lives are fabulous, I mean isn’t that the best way to live life?
As adults we both remain humble and aware of the conspicuousness of consumer consumption and it’s trappings. I like to think that we’re both fairly aware consumers and that the measurement of our consumption is often influenced by the things around us. Equally when it comes to the conspicuousness to branding I also recognise that i’m just as affected as most people are.
In contrast, as a positive result we’re both thrifty, we’re careful in our decision making, by being able recognise when enough is enough and to be able to live within your means.
This frame of thought isn’t restrictive, it’s sensible caution, but in between we allow for ourselves the individual opportunity to feel fabulous. For example, for me a big part of that comes from the clothes that I wear, the clothes serving as armour, providing confidence, flair and attitude.
For my sister she allows herself to unwind through the exploration of travel, culture and adventure, something of which I’ve not had the internationalization or broadening beyond our borders.
Before I get into that let me start by saying upfront that I haven’t always been a fashion plate, but typically my sister has, as is expected to her sex, though she remains completely unafraid of exploring fashion beyond what might typically be considered girly or limited to just the arena of women’s fashion.
Instead my sisters appreciation of culture, fashion, or more precisely style as it relates to clothing trends and the people who wear it is far more extensive than my own.
I have some sort of sense of what I like as fashion or style, but sister remains the definitive sounding board, where she can provide you with a sense of the cultural aesthetic as well as the pop culture reference if need be.
When I decided to rebuild my wardrobe a couple of years ago naturally we went shopping together. My sister Kelly knows the turf here in Perth much better than I so my trust in her is complete.
Serving as my partner in crime and stylist we have visited more floor space together and explored the potential of stores with their name brands and prices to such extent an where I’m comfortable knowing that I’ve conquered Perth, seen it all, know where it all is and sadly there isn’t too much I want here, well...at least not at these prices.
Since we began these shopping expeditions my sister Kelly has dressed me more appropriately for work than I’ve ever been. While I might look as big name brands as being the pedigree or the high end of style, fashion labels as an identifier is something my sister is kind of immune to, don’t get me wrong she likes her own degree of label whoring as well but it’s not a sore thumb that stops her from seeing past the potential in any item of clothing.
In my adult life I have continued to covet certain brands and there has been a certain amount of label whoring that started when I was a teenager. In my professional life the male masculine ego here is catered as armour, as it’s nice to wear a nice expensive monogramed shirt and treat it like it’s nothing special, that sense of the devil may care attitude, to spend a $1,000 bucks like it’s $100 and that attitude accompanies the style, the lad-ish, casual, preppy and classic man behind the armour.
It’s built from an attitude we share, a twin like characteristic that involves a no BS approach to most things, with the idea to cut through the chaff and let’s get to the point while glossing over key points without the need for small talk.
And I know I don’t get it from my mother or father, it’s from something else, perhaps it’s come out of our generation, the whip smart language of disfranchised Gen–X counter culture or edgey television serials or maybe it’s borne from something else that is only shared between siblings.
Over the years I like to think I’ve broaden a bit, I moved over to SA when I was 17 and then at 24 moved over to cosmopolitan Melbourne for 8.5 years. There I learnt so much about myself, about change, acceptance and set myself up for a new direction in terms of both lifestyle and career as a result of the time spent there.
My experiences through adolescence have given me the street smarts to make it, whether that’s the grift applied to business or lent to communication with people at any level, but what I deem as most important has been this survival mechanism I have that gives me the ability to pack up and go, to live in any town. This survivor’s instinct offers a different form of confidence where I’m certain I can start over, find work, find friends, play house. It’s been a common enough reoccurrence in my life where sea changes come into effect almost every 7-8 years.
In the time between then and now my sister and I haven’t been as close as we were as children, but still the duty, love, devotion to one another remains. We have relearnt how to express that to one another, sharing ourselves and over time I recognise that she is the stronger, the wiser of the two of us. My trust in her judgement, her knowledge and influence has been a huge component in my own reintegration into my family.
While we share certain commonalities that act as a mirror to one another I should point out that we are in fact not twins and that these common characteristics have helped create a bond, a twin-ness as I like to think of it, as brother and sister, we share our own private language.
Of the things we share together the love of fashion and lifestyle is immediate, we both come from a extremely humble background where the lives we are living today are the best they have ever been.
We have nice lives, nice things and we like to feel as though are lives are fabulous, I mean isn’t that the best way to live life?
As adults we both remain humble and aware of the conspicuousness of consumer consumption and it’s trappings. I like to think that we’re both fairly aware consumers and that the measurement of our consumption is often influenced by the things around us. Equally when it comes to the conspicuousness to branding I also recognise that i’m just as affected as most people are.
In contrast, as a positive result we’re both thrifty, we’re careful in our decision making, by being able recognise when enough is enough and to be able to live within your means.
This frame of thought isn’t restrictive, it’s sensible caution, but in between we allow for ourselves the individual opportunity to feel fabulous. For example, for me a big part of that comes from the clothes that I wear, the clothes serving as armour, providing confidence, flair and attitude.
For my sister she allows herself to unwind through the exploration of travel, culture and adventure, something of which I’ve not had the internationalization or broadening beyond our borders.
Before I get into that let me start by saying upfront that I haven’t always been a fashion plate, but typically my sister has, as is expected to her sex, though she remains completely unafraid of exploring fashion beyond what might typically be considered girly or limited to just the arena of women’s fashion.
Instead my sisters appreciation of culture, fashion, or more precisely style as it relates to clothing trends and the people who wear it is far more extensive than my own.
I have some sort of sense of what I like as fashion or style, but sister remains the definitive sounding board, where she can provide you with a sense of the cultural aesthetic as well as the pop culture reference if need be.
When I decided to rebuild my wardrobe a couple of years ago naturally we went shopping together. My sister Kelly knows the turf here in Perth much better than I so my trust in her is complete.
Serving as my partner in crime and stylist we have visited more floor space together and explored the potential of stores with their name brands and prices to such extent an where I’m comfortable knowing that I’ve conquered Perth, seen it all, know where it all is and sadly there isn’t too much I want here, well...at least not at these prices.
Since we began these shopping expeditions my sister Kelly has dressed me more appropriately for work than I’ve ever been. While I might look as big name brands as being the pedigree or the high end of style, fashion labels as an identifier is something my sister is kind of immune to, don’t get me wrong she likes her own degree of label whoring as well but it’s not a sore thumb that stops her from seeing past the potential in any item of clothing.
In my adult life I have continued to covet certain brands and there has been a certain amount of label whoring that started when I was a teenager. In my professional life the male masculine ego here is catered as armour, as it’s nice to wear a nice expensive monogramed shirt and treat it like it’s nothing special, that sense of the devil may care attitude, to spend a $1,000 bucks like it’s $100 and that attitude accompanies the style, the lad-ish, casual, preppy and classic man behind the armour.
Knowing this, my sister also knows about the sort of travel experiences I’m yet to have. Broadening experiences like her own that ultimately gives way to a deeper understanding of the world and ourselves. Travel is perhaps the most broadening experience you can have, I’ve had different experiences to that of my sister, like having that global awareness of the world, understanding your place in it, appreciating your homeland and being more accepting to the differences of culture, of people, race, religion, this all comes from the experiences we get from travel.
Kelly would have excelled in event management if she had the time to complete her studies, as such she helped plan my first overseas holiday, she knew immediately what kind of holiday I wanted to have. She knew that I didn’t want to see another culture where poverty and the ultra-rich are polar opposite, she recognised that after working hard all year, studying and giving my complete all to a job that I deserve some form of personal reward to thyself.
When first discussing where I might go I wondered whether or not I was ready for the big bright world? Or Is the world ready for me? I’ve never been a tourist before but I have an idea of the kind of tourist I’d like to be, a person of leisure to be free in the ways where I am not in our everyday lives. I explained all of this to Kelly and she smiled and said – “I know what kind of holiday you need”
“To begin with….You want your feet up, relaxed, a glass of G&T in your hand, the ice blocks clinking together around a wedge of lime and the condensation sweat running down the glass through your fingers, with the happy Z in back of your head and the stupid grin on your face while sitting in the pool lounge. You want the towels changed daily and new packets of toilet accessories ready for you to tear the wrapping off like a kid tears the wrapping paper off presents at Xmas. You want the in-house 20 channels of entertainment, the private club lounge area with free canapés and sun downers that take you through till dinner. You wanna sleep in late and barely make it in time for breakfast and still be treated like there time enough. In short you want room service.”
As stated she knew the kind of holiday that I wanted, that being – a big fat shopping holiday with maximum convenience. But where to do that exactly? The purchasing of clothes and accessories here is too expensive and the Aussie buck is rated high enough to make even internet shopping worthwhile. But where to go with the purpose in mind to shop? Where do you get the most bang for your buck?
To my advantage, my sister has travelled extensively and while she can recommend several cities to enjoy a shopping holiday whether it’s for accessible brands or shopping for the elite of couture fashion she knows where to go. And for me she was able to find balance in the force to create a happy medium, knowing what my needs are and then catering for my budget she noted that for this trip (my first overseas journey), I needed to have an adventure close to home.
So we sat down and talked it over and to begin with she had agreed to play host and would to take me to either Hong Kong or Kuala Lumpur sometime in late 2010.
Later on though this arrangement altered and she would not be able to play the role as host but still continued to support me throughout the planning of the holiday.
In the end, we settled on Kuala Lumpur as my destination city, we agreed that it is the best choice, as it has the best dollar for dollar ratio, the best range of stores & brands and perhaps the most sensible place to unwind without having the connotations of the Aussie abroad.
I was excited because of the shopping, in rebuilding my wardrobe I have a list of things I want and the more and more we talked about KL and it’s big brand shopping malls I knew it would be the ultimate holiday experience. But it came with a catch.
For a XXL size wearer the skinny Asian man body form is at conflict with the body shape of the Aussie male. It’s something that’s not easily avoided or overcome, for example while posting for advice on TripAdvisor.com I was warned that my choices would be extremely limited and I was given careful advice as to where I might be better off shopping. Stores like the Gap, British India, Marks & Spencer were mentioned.
This fact caused me no end of worry, I even considered going somewhere else where sizing might not be such an issue, like Hong Kong for example and ride off my brother in laws coat tails.
But Kelly was reassuring and honest enough to help me make sense of it all, the holiday experience was what was most essential and sometimes you get lucky with shopping treasures you didn’t expect and find stuff that’s not on your list.
By November I was still settled on KL as my first overseas destination city.
Thankfully I would not be going it totally alone either, a friend of mine, Jeff, had offered to come along for the ride, all the while knowing I was going there for retail therapy and that I wanted to take in some of the culinary delights of Malaysian cooking. To my relief Jeff remained keen to come, he said “Let’s go anyway and make it up as go along” and that’s exactly what my sister thought about the journey too. “Just go” she said, “go find out what it’s like” and I’m so glad I did.
We said our goodbyes over the phone as I left for the airport with Dad and she said – “Email me”.
And I knew from her tone she really meant it, so I promised I would and set off for a journey into the unknown, into a world of glitz, glamor, shopping malls, food stuff, technology and fashion a-go-go.
But Kelly was reassuring and honest enough to help me make sense of it all, the holiday experience was what was most essential and sometimes you get lucky with shopping treasures you didn’t expect and find stuff that’s not on your list.
By November I was still settled on KL as my first overseas destination city.
Thankfully I would not be going it totally alone either, a friend of mine, Jeff, had offered to come along for the ride, all the while knowing I was going there for retail therapy and that I wanted to take in some of the culinary delights of Malaysian cooking. To my relief Jeff remained keen to come, he said “Let’s go anyway and make it up as go along” and that’s exactly what my sister thought about the journey too. “Just go” she said, “go find out what it’s like” and I’m so glad I did.
We said our goodbyes over the phone as I left for the airport with Dad and she said – “Email me”.
And I knew from her tone she really meant it, so I promised I would and set off for a journey into the unknown, into a world of glitz, glamor, shopping malls, food stuff, technology and fashion a-go-go.
* * *
INTERMISSION
For your enjoyment I’ve included here a few snippets of my journey overseas that track the best portions of a back n’ forth email conversation that I kept up with my sister. The included emails detail some of the journey that helps flesh out the best parts of my holiday.
INTERMISSION
For your enjoyment I’ve included here a few snippets of my journey overseas that track the best portions of a back n’ forth email conversation that I kept up with my sister. The included emails detail some of the journey that helps flesh out the best parts of my holiday.
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