Thursday
Seven Stars
Seconds
Ten times more than the sweetest sound
Wouldn't want to change if it brings me down
Every seven years it's on expire
Driven by a fear and a sweep of fire
Higher than the heavens
So tempted by your hands
And letting go
Every now and then to fall behind
Leaning on a stranger, turning time
Cause all I want, a second or two
And all we got are seconds to lose
And all I am is tempted by you
I wake to the sound of the phone ringing and when I pick up it’s Lively checking to see if I want to join him for breakfast, I can barely speak but manage to say, “No Breakfast” and Lively laughs and says, “Okay I’ll tell the others”
Seven Stars
Seconds
Ten times more than the sweetest sound
Wouldn't want to change if it brings me down
Every seven years it's on expire
Driven by a fear and a sweep of fire
Higher than the heavens
So tempted by your hands
And letting go
Every now and then to fall behind
Leaning on a stranger, turning time
Cause all I want, a second or two
And all we got are seconds to lose
And all I am is tempted by you
I wake to the sound of the phone ringing and when I pick up it’s Lively checking to see if I want to join him for breakfast, I can barely speak but manage to say, “No Breakfast” and Lively laughs and says, “Okay I’ll tell the others”
I don’t make it downstairs for the usual 10:30am meet up, so when Joggy calls me on the mobile I’m still in bed feeling crap. “Mr. B still feeling rat shit I hear?”, I go to say, “You heard correct Sir” but instead the only sound that comes out is a groggy, whimpering “Ahuh”.
Joggy quizzes me about my physical ailments and in the end his diagnosis is that I need to sleep it off. He tells me that today won’t be the same without me and then snickers as he hangs up. Bastard.
The gang has planned to visit the Batu caves outside of the city, it’s something I’d wanted to do, to see the monkeys flingin’ faeces at the tourists and to see the big golden budda statue. I feel so shitty about missing out on the water park and then to make things worse - Solys birthday last night.
I give into my self loathing and say “Ah fuck it” and roll over and snooze.
In and out of slumber I manage to sit up and watch some TV, here I am visited by Percy Jackson and Emilia Earhart, the ghosts of Christmas past and present. These two play with my already fragile mental health taking it in turns to remind me of how much of a cunt I am. Fear grips me and I have to wonder if this goes on for much longer how the fuck am I going to get out of this hotel and get home to Australia.
Joggy quizzes me about my physical ailments and in the end his diagnosis is that I need to sleep it off. He tells me that today won’t be the same without me and then snickers as he hangs up. Bastard.
The gang has planned to visit the Batu caves outside of the city, it’s something I’d wanted to do, to see the monkeys flingin’ faeces at the tourists and to see the big golden budda statue. I feel so shitty about missing out on the water park and then to make things worse - Solys birthday last night.
I give into my self loathing and say “Ah fuck it” and roll over and snooze.
In and out of slumber I manage to sit up and watch some TV, here I am visited by Percy Jackson and Emilia Earhart, the ghosts of Christmas past and present. These two play with my already fragile mental health taking it in turns to remind me of how much of a cunt I am. Fear grips me and I have to wonder if this goes on for much longer how the fuck am I going to get out of this hotel and get home to Australia.
I stay in bed until 12:30 basically looping out from the sickness, this is until Nathe comes and gets me. He knocks on the door and then I let him inside and he’s already way too chipper for my liking, “Well at least you’re up and about”, like that’s a good thing. Then he says, “C’mon we’ll get you to a chemist I know what you need”. I go to ask him, “Are you the ghost of Christmas future” but instead he just tells me to shower and get dressed and to call him once I’m ready to go downstairs, Kym has given him a free pass this morning to do what he wants and he tells me that wants to go shopping with me at SOGO.
So I shower, call Nathe who has appointed himself as my death watch, then meet him downstairs.
After I reach him he says, “Any better?”and I tell him, “No not really”, Nathe just shrugs it off like I’ve said something funny, we walk out the hotel and grab a taxi and Nathan tells the driver, “SOGO please”
Arriving at SOGO and we step out from the road in full traffic, dodge past scooters until we reach the safety of the footpath. I walk slowly my stomach still fucking me over, the cab ride was hellish, the nausea going from full on extreme to a mild upset in a matter of moments. Nathe is good about the whole thing though, as much as I hate being this lame, especially in front of a mate, Nathe remains casual about the whole thing. “This is it” he says as we go inside and SOGO, Wow! it really is unlike most department stores I’ve visited, it reminds me of how flagship stores of my youth used to be and since Nathe is from Perth I say, “ It’s kind of like how Aherns used to be?” and he totally gets it.
The whole ground floor is a series of glass and mirror counters, with ornate chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the front glass windows allow enough natural light through to make the whole place sparkle. We pass by men’s aftershaves and Nathe checks out Gucci’s Guilty for Men, he sprays a sample on my wrist, “What do you think?” I tell him “It’s gay as fuck” and “you should definitely get it”. He puts it back down somewhat defeated mumbling, “it’s the best cologne out at the moment”, then I retract my diss and say, “Yeah dude it’s hot, I’d definitely fuck you with that on”.
Nathe gushes smiling while mentally filing away the Gucci as must get later item we don’t dwindle here for long as there’s a lot to see here this morning
. We decide to roam the floors one at a time and to check out all the cool stuff thoroughly before coming back down. I say to Nathe, “Man, there’s so many different brands here compared to the other stores”, and there is, it really is a very different spread of brands to what they have in the other department stores like Isetan, Parksons and Tangs.
We pass by wrist watches and stop and look at a few, I ask about Ellesse watches and the lady at the counter says, “Try City Chain” it’s a franchise jewellery store in another mall just down the road.
We pass by an in-store Clarks kiosk and I look at the same Wallabees i’d purchased a few days earlier, this time in a different colour and material – suede Olive. I try to get the attention of the staff but since they are already busy with other customers I end up just walking off.
While I’ve been looking at Clarks vintage shoes Nathe has been hunting around for a chemist, he finds an in-store chemist near the Women aromatherapy stuff, I think it’s a Dr Watsons but I can’t be sure. Nathe’s already discussed the situation with the pharmacist and she’s asks me a series of check questions to make sure of the symptoms. In the end her recommendation is that I take some probiotics, which are bacterial cultures similar to what you’d find in a Yakult drink. After purchasing these the pharmacist hands me a cup of water and tells me to take two and to keep hydrating throughout the day.
We travel up a few floors and we stop at the men’s wear and take a look around, here I see Nautica and Timberland, I even see Gant menswear but don’t see anything I’m particularly fond of. While Nathe scans the racks of clothes I wander over and check out various brands of men’s loafers and boat shoes. The loafers are mega pimp but they are nothing compared to the Bally classic loafers I’d spotted earlier in the week at KLCC.
We go up another floor and there’s a fair amount of sporting goods, athletic clothing, footwear and outdoor gear. Nathe looks at some new golf clubs while I check out the clothes. The range of clothes in my size is always such a limiting factor, I look at a few different New Balance t-shirts and polo’s and while none of these win me over entirely I’m lucky enough to find a XXL gingham shirt by Columbia which I decide to buy on a whim. I look around at the sneakers but none of these are of particular interest, it’s basically the same stuff that’s everywhere else this season plus i’m happy with the New Balance sneakers I’ve already purchased.
Nathe and I wander the floors until we reach somewhere near the top and look at some Samsonite luggage and to our disappointment nothing here is being discounted, I see some Benetton cases in a metallic grey finish that I like but they don’t hold my interest for long on the account that they don’t have a large case and these are all small to mid size.
At the top we turn around and start making our way down, along the way Nathe asks me how I’m feeling and to my surprise I’m feeling good, better than how I was. Nathe is like, “I told you that shit would work” and I can’t believe the change and how fast it has acted. But as good as I might be feeling the need to take a shit kicks me in the arse like I’ve fallen off a horse. I come off the escalator carefully, the feeling is all too familiar, since this bug has been inside me my toilet runs have been rather chancy, so I know when my stomach gives my colon the elbow it’s time to go...fast!.
Given the risk that my ass might explode I walk gingerly to the toilet with my cheeks clenched, Nathan gives me some coins as it’s a pay per use toilet. Inside the toilet I see a stall attendant mopping up and I grab some toilet paper squares out of crank handle fixture on the wall and make my move to the toilets. To my dismay these are all squat toilets, squatting is something I have absolutely no training for and trying to hover over a hole in the ground isn’t going to be easy since the floor is all tiled and wet, and I do mean wet, it’s puddles of water everywhere. I walk to the end of the row of toilets and can’t believe it when I see that they have one western toilet. But when I go up to the thing it’s covered in a golden hue of piss. I stick my neck out the door of the cubicle looking for the toilet attendant and discover he’s vanished. So, I pick up the hose that people use to wash their bums, turn the tap handle and wash off the piss. I lock the door to the stall, lift the seat up, then slip out of my shorts and hold these tucked up under my arm while I hover bog. And it’s as good as it get’s folks, I manage to snap with expert precision so that when I apply the cardboard like squares of 1 ply toilet tissue I have enough left over to sandpaper my asshole till it bleeds. Yay for me.
I come out of the toilets looking rather pale and dreary. Nathan just stands there laughing to himself.
He says, “Brilliant” and I manage a smile back and say, “Fuck you” and “Let’s go”.
After I reach him he says, “Any better?”and I tell him, “No not really”, Nathe just shrugs it off like I’ve said something funny, we walk out the hotel and grab a taxi and Nathan tells the driver, “SOGO please”
Arriving at SOGO and we step out from the road in full traffic, dodge past scooters until we reach the safety of the footpath. I walk slowly my stomach still fucking me over, the cab ride was hellish, the nausea going from full on extreme to a mild upset in a matter of moments. Nathe is good about the whole thing though, as much as I hate being this lame, especially in front of a mate, Nathe remains casual about the whole thing. “This is it” he says as we go inside and SOGO, Wow! it really is unlike most department stores I’ve visited, it reminds me of how flagship stores of my youth used to be and since Nathe is from Perth I say, “ It’s kind of like how Aherns used to be?” and he totally gets it.
The whole ground floor is a series of glass and mirror counters, with ornate chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the front glass windows allow enough natural light through to make the whole place sparkle. We pass by men’s aftershaves and Nathe checks out Gucci’s Guilty for Men, he sprays a sample on my wrist, “What do you think?” I tell him “It’s gay as fuck” and “you should definitely get it”. He puts it back down somewhat defeated mumbling, “it’s the best cologne out at the moment”, then I retract my diss and say, “Yeah dude it’s hot, I’d definitely fuck you with that on”.
Nathe gushes smiling while mentally filing away the Gucci as must get later item we don’t dwindle here for long as there’s a lot to see here this morning
. We decide to roam the floors one at a time and to check out all the cool stuff thoroughly before coming back down. I say to Nathe, “Man, there’s so many different brands here compared to the other stores”, and there is, it really is a very different spread of brands to what they have in the other department stores like Isetan, Parksons and Tangs.
We pass by wrist watches and stop and look at a few, I ask about Ellesse watches and the lady at the counter says, “Try City Chain” it’s a franchise jewellery store in another mall just down the road.
We pass by an in-store Clarks kiosk and I look at the same Wallabees i’d purchased a few days earlier, this time in a different colour and material – suede Olive. I try to get the attention of the staff but since they are already busy with other customers I end up just walking off.
While I’ve been looking at Clarks vintage shoes Nathe has been hunting around for a chemist, he finds an in-store chemist near the Women aromatherapy stuff, I think it’s a Dr Watsons but I can’t be sure. Nathe’s already discussed the situation with the pharmacist and she’s asks me a series of check questions to make sure of the symptoms. In the end her recommendation is that I take some probiotics, which are bacterial cultures similar to what you’d find in a Yakult drink. After purchasing these the pharmacist hands me a cup of water and tells me to take two and to keep hydrating throughout the day.
We travel up a few floors and we stop at the men’s wear and take a look around, here I see Nautica and Timberland, I even see Gant menswear but don’t see anything I’m particularly fond of. While Nathe scans the racks of clothes I wander over and check out various brands of men’s loafers and boat shoes. The loafers are mega pimp but they are nothing compared to the Bally classic loafers I’d spotted earlier in the week at KLCC.
We go up another floor and there’s a fair amount of sporting goods, athletic clothing, footwear and outdoor gear. Nathe looks at some new golf clubs while I check out the clothes. The range of clothes in my size is always such a limiting factor, I look at a few different New Balance t-shirts and polo’s and while none of these win me over entirely I’m lucky enough to find a XXL gingham shirt by Columbia which I decide to buy on a whim. I look around at the sneakers but none of these are of particular interest, it’s basically the same stuff that’s everywhere else this season plus i’m happy with the New Balance sneakers I’ve already purchased.
Nathe and I wander the floors until we reach somewhere near the top and look at some Samsonite luggage and to our disappointment nothing here is being discounted, I see some Benetton cases in a metallic grey finish that I like but they don’t hold my interest for long on the account that they don’t have a large case and these are all small to mid size.
At the top we turn around and start making our way down, along the way Nathe asks me how I’m feeling and to my surprise I’m feeling good, better than how I was. Nathe is like, “I told you that shit would work” and I can’t believe the change and how fast it has acted. But as good as I might be feeling the need to take a shit kicks me in the arse like I’ve fallen off a horse. I come off the escalator carefully, the feeling is all too familiar, since this bug has been inside me my toilet runs have been rather chancy, so I know when my stomach gives my colon the elbow it’s time to go...fast!.
Given the risk that my ass might explode I walk gingerly to the toilet with my cheeks clenched, Nathan gives me some coins as it’s a pay per use toilet. Inside the toilet I see a stall attendant mopping up and I grab some toilet paper squares out of crank handle fixture on the wall and make my move to the toilets. To my dismay these are all squat toilets, squatting is something I have absolutely no training for and trying to hover over a hole in the ground isn’t going to be easy since the floor is all tiled and wet, and I do mean wet, it’s puddles of water everywhere. I walk to the end of the row of toilets and can’t believe it when I see that they have one western toilet. But when I go up to the thing it’s covered in a golden hue of piss. I stick my neck out the door of the cubicle looking for the toilet attendant and discover he’s vanished. So, I pick up the hose that people use to wash their bums, turn the tap handle and wash off the piss. I lock the door to the stall, lift the seat up, then slip out of my shorts and hold these tucked up under my arm while I hover bog. And it’s as good as it get’s folks, I manage to snap with expert precision so that when I apply the cardboard like squares of 1 ply toilet tissue I have enough left over to sandpaper my asshole till it bleeds. Yay for me.
I come out of the toilets looking rather pale and dreary. Nathan just stands there laughing to himself.
He says, “Brilliant” and I manage a smile back and say, “Fuck you” and “Let’s go”.
We come out of SOGO and look around for a taxi, I ask Nathan if he can be arsed walking down the street from SOGO to find this other mall that has a City Chain retailer. Nathe looks at his watch and is working out how much playtime he has until he catches up with Kym, he says, “Yeah fuck it”.
We wander down the street and find the mall easy enough, it’s not much really, three floors with maybe 20 shops on each level, with inter connecting escalators to each floor. There’s nothing here in particular except for an Espirit factory outlet which Nathan takes a quick look at. We’re about to leave when we find City Chain on the ground level at the opposite entrance to the one we came in. Here I look at the prices for Ellesse watches, I get a bit of an idea of the types and styles of men’s wrist watches they have but nothing here stands out. I try to compare the watches here to the ones I’ve looked up the internet but nothing I can see here is even a close match. The store attendant says that the range at the Mid Valley Mega Mall shop is far more extensive and that I should probably go there. “Duly noted”, I say to myself and file this away for later.
We come out of mall and find a makeshift taxi rank which looks like more of a bus stop, the cab drivers here are all on break and talking amongst themselves. One driver catches our eye and he asks where we want to go and then when he realises that it’s a short trip he asks politely would we be prepared to give him at least 15RM for the effort and I tell him, “Sure no problem” and pay the money upfront.
Coming back to the hotel I meet up with the gang sitting downstairs drinking in the lounge. Nathan takes off upstairs and promises to come back down soon. I’m in admiration of Nathan so much right now it hurts, first he gets me out of the water park back to the relative safety of my hotel room, then he gets me up and out of bed and takes me to a chemist. The guy is fucking champion and I owe him.
Turning my attention back to the gang who have just returned from Batu caves they catch me up on what it was like, it’s Joggy who tells me, “It wasn’t special” and I’m surprised to hear this coming from him and not Jeff. I ask Joggy about how many steps there were to reach the caves, like were there that many and was it easy enough to climb these, Joggy is reassuringly positive, “Yeah man too easy, you’d have been fine” as he says this he points over at Jeff who is balls deep into a club sandwich, he says “Even Jeff got up those steps no problem”. Jeff fires back, “Fuck you” and Lively laughing along joins in and says, “Man you were wheezing like a bitch all the way” and Jeff is quick to retort, “Yeah but at least I made it in the end” and then makes some reference to a cave of bat shit.
Lively is like, “Yeah there was this cave that you could crawl through and we all did but got completely covered in dry bat shit” I say “Guano” and he says, “Yeah, that shit is actually bad for you, it’s used as some sort of fertiliser”. I raise an eyebrow to this fun factoid, then Lively says, “Yeah first thing I did when we got back was shower and change my shirt” and Jeff is like, “Fuck yeah”
We wander down the street and find the mall easy enough, it’s not much really, three floors with maybe 20 shops on each level, with inter connecting escalators to each floor. There’s nothing here in particular except for an Espirit factory outlet which Nathan takes a quick look at. We’re about to leave when we find City Chain on the ground level at the opposite entrance to the one we came in. Here I look at the prices for Ellesse watches, I get a bit of an idea of the types and styles of men’s wrist watches they have but nothing here stands out. I try to compare the watches here to the ones I’ve looked up the internet but nothing I can see here is even a close match. The store attendant says that the range at the Mid Valley Mega Mall shop is far more extensive and that I should probably go there. “Duly noted”, I say to myself and file this away for later.
We come out of mall and find a makeshift taxi rank which looks like more of a bus stop, the cab drivers here are all on break and talking amongst themselves. One driver catches our eye and he asks where we want to go and then when he realises that it’s a short trip he asks politely would we be prepared to give him at least 15RM for the effort and I tell him, “Sure no problem” and pay the money upfront.
Coming back to the hotel I meet up with the gang sitting downstairs drinking in the lounge. Nathan takes off upstairs and promises to come back down soon. I’m in admiration of Nathan so much right now it hurts, first he gets me out of the water park back to the relative safety of my hotel room, then he gets me up and out of bed and takes me to a chemist. The guy is fucking champion and I owe him.
Turning my attention back to the gang who have just returned from Batu caves they catch me up on what it was like, it’s Joggy who tells me, “It wasn’t special” and I’m surprised to hear this coming from him and not Jeff. I ask Joggy about how many steps there were to reach the caves, like were there that many and was it easy enough to climb these, Joggy is reassuringly positive, “Yeah man too easy, you’d have been fine” as he says this he points over at Jeff who is balls deep into a club sandwich, he says “Even Jeff got up those steps no problem”. Jeff fires back, “Fuck you” and Lively laughing along joins in and says, “Man you were wheezing like a bitch all the way” and Jeff is quick to retort, “Yeah but at least I made it in the end” and then makes some reference to a cave of bat shit.
Lively is like, “Yeah there was this cave that you could crawl through and we all did but got completely covered in dry bat shit” I say “Guano” and he says, “Yeah, that shit is actually bad for you, it’s used as some sort of fertiliser”. I raise an eyebrow to this fun factoid, then Lively says, “Yeah first thing I did when we got back was shower and change my shirt” and Jeff is like, “Fuck yeah”
Jeff has just finished a plate of club sandwiches and with half a mouth of food he asks, “You feeling better now, you hungry?” and to my surprise I am actually hungry. The ala carte menu’s are sitting scattered around the table, I go to ask Jeff about the burger and Lively chimes in and says, “Oh dude you gotta get it” and I recall that they both have tried it now probably more than once and I remember it being massive, so big you can’t finish it. Our hostess comes over, only it isn’t Ali or Elis it’s the bar manager, she asks what would I like and I ask for the hotel burger. When she asks me what I’d like to drink I’m unsure. Jeff suggests that I have a lemon lime and bitters and I look at the bar manager and nod my head in affirmation, “I’ll have one of those”.
When the burger comes out it’s amazing, it’s loaded with fries on the side, onion rings, some avocado, cucumber slices, I can add my own sauces and it’s over flowing with a nice garnish of salads and grilled cheese across the meat. My mouth waters before taking the first bite, I can’t believe how fast my appetite has returned.
When Nathan joins us I’m fully into this burger with both hands, the juices running down my chin, Nathan smiles and says, “that looks familiar”, with half a mouth full of food I manage to say, “fuck you”, Nathan’s come back is whip smart, “you need the practice”. And even behind the burger that shields my face from view, I am grinning from ear to ear.
When the burger comes out it’s amazing, it’s loaded with fries on the side, onion rings, some avocado, cucumber slices, I can add my own sauces and it’s over flowing with a nice garnish of salads and grilled cheese across the meat. My mouth waters before taking the first bite, I can’t believe how fast my appetite has returned.
When Nathan joins us I’m fully into this burger with both hands, the juices running down my chin, Nathan smiles and says, “that looks familiar”, with half a mouth full of food I manage to say, “fuck you”, Nathan’s come back is whip smart, “you need the practice”. And even behind the burger that shields my face from view, I am grinning from ear to ear.
After the burger is done to about half way Joggy asks would anyone be up for another massage. We’re all like, “Fuck yeah”. Nathan tells us about this other place he visited the other day with Kym and says that it was not as good as the first place we went earlier in the week. I ask Nathe, “So are you and Kym coming?” and he tells me that Kym is going to do something else, maybe shop. Joggy says, “So it’s back to Kenko’s then?”.
* * *
At Kenko’s I already know what to ask for, I give the woman on the front desk a number that the masseuse gave me last time, she had told me that this was her number, so naturally I have the expectation that she’ll magically appear but instead the lady on the front desk simply confirms the last treatment, “You want a 90 minutes massage, 30 minutes foot reflexology?” and I say, “Yeah, that’s the one”. I’m led down a side passageway towards the back where we had our first massages, but the masseuse who tells me to get undressed ends up being a guy dressed in what looks like a dentist’s outfit, he leaves me there a moment and I pull back the curtain and chase after him, “Hey buddy” i begin by saying, “Look no offence mate but no you think I could get a girl to massage me” I smile back at him and he gets it, “Oh you want a woman”, and in my defence I say, “Yeah man if you don’t mind?” he says politely, “No problem” and I walk back to my massage bed.
About 2 minutes later a Chinese looking young but yum thing arrives and she says, “Okay?” while presenting herself to me, I sit there on the edge of the bed nodding my head, my tounge wagging like Scooby Doo, “Yeah yeah” I’m short of being racially inappropriate, my heart is pounding, my head is screaming out “Me likey, me likey” and the Bishop begins to stir in my Byfords.
She gives me instructions to undress and she helps me out of my shirt and folds it for me, then she disappears to go get a wooden bucket of warm water.
While she’s doing this Nathan has just met his masseuse and guess who it is, it’s the same bloke that I was meant to have. The guy just tells Nathe to strip off and disappears. After he’s gone out of earshot, Lively gets stuck into Nathe with the homo trolling and Nathe is raging while we all laugh.
We’re all sitting on the edge of our mattresses waiting for our masseuses to come back for the body wash and while we wait the taunting continues and I say to Nathe, “Hey maybe your penis will like it” and Nathe is laughing while screaming at me, “You’re such a cunt!”.
The massage begins like a repeat of my first one but without the careful execution lavished upon my dainty jello form. My masseuse tends to pinch the muscle a lot more, and it’s a precise piercing grip that is sure to shake out the toxins. My entire body is enflamed and already sore, hurting before the main show gets underway. She keeps taking me to the threshold of pain more and more deliberately and this exercise tends to repeat in faster frequency than from which I can fully recover.
She is whispering in my ear, “Is that okay for you?” but all I hear, “You like huh bitch?” and while suppressing otherwise yelps of pain I am indeed her little bitch, I try my best to suck it up, but the whole time while I’m getting worked my mind is preoccupied with the worry that my stomach will turn 360 degrees and explode with vile chunder or worse my rissole will go postal with a poop shotgun.
But thankfully that doesn’t happen and in a short while my body is feeling good and the endorphins have kicked in and I’m feeling light headed and giddy, the whispering in the ear is heard as “You wanna whisky?” and I’m feeling rather swish, letting her throw me around the mattress to and fro.
I’m giggling like a new borne getting his nappy changed, she smiles and at least pretends to have a good time with me, sharing the laughs, asking me when will I go home to Australia.
When we’re in the home straight and she’s working my feet with the foot scrub my head hangs back past my shoulders in Flashdance pose. I am exhausted, yet loving it, my head swoons with the release of toxic crap and I feel, well...high as fuck to be perfectly honest.
About 2 minutes later a Chinese looking young but yum thing arrives and she says, “Okay?” while presenting herself to me, I sit there on the edge of the bed nodding my head, my tounge wagging like Scooby Doo, “Yeah yeah” I’m short of being racially inappropriate, my heart is pounding, my head is screaming out “Me likey, me likey” and the Bishop begins to stir in my Byfords.
She gives me instructions to undress and she helps me out of my shirt and folds it for me, then she disappears to go get a wooden bucket of warm water.
While she’s doing this Nathan has just met his masseuse and guess who it is, it’s the same bloke that I was meant to have. The guy just tells Nathe to strip off and disappears. After he’s gone out of earshot, Lively gets stuck into Nathe with the homo trolling and Nathe is raging while we all laugh.
We’re all sitting on the edge of our mattresses waiting for our masseuses to come back for the body wash and while we wait the taunting continues and I say to Nathe, “Hey maybe your penis will like it” and Nathe is laughing while screaming at me, “You’re such a cunt!”.
The massage begins like a repeat of my first one but without the careful execution lavished upon my dainty jello form. My masseuse tends to pinch the muscle a lot more, and it’s a precise piercing grip that is sure to shake out the toxins. My entire body is enflamed and already sore, hurting before the main show gets underway. She keeps taking me to the threshold of pain more and more deliberately and this exercise tends to repeat in faster frequency than from which I can fully recover.
She is whispering in my ear, “Is that okay for you?” but all I hear, “You like huh bitch?” and while suppressing otherwise yelps of pain I am indeed her little bitch, I try my best to suck it up, but the whole time while I’m getting worked my mind is preoccupied with the worry that my stomach will turn 360 degrees and explode with vile chunder or worse my rissole will go postal with a poop shotgun.
But thankfully that doesn’t happen and in a short while my body is feeling good and the endorphins have kicked in and I’m feeling light headed and giddy, the whispering in the ear is heard as “You wanna whisky?” and I’m feeling rather swish, letting her throw me around the mattress to and fro.
I’m giggling like a new borne getting his nappy changed, she smiles and at least pretends to have a good time with me, sharing the laughs, asking me when will I go home to Australia.
When we’re in the home straight and she’s working my feet with the foot scrub my head hangs back past my shoulders in Flashdance pose. I am exhausted, yet loving it, my head swoons with the release of toxic crap and I feel, well...high as fuck to be perfectly honest.
Coming back to the hotel afterwards is like tip toeing across the moon, we all feel so relaxed, pleasured, all of our senses tingling with sexual energy. I wanted to grab my pretty masseuse and kiss her mouth for the joy she has given me, but this is not me thinking straight, rather it’s ‘Fat Boss’ my alter ego self, starring in my own Samurai film where my pretty young masseuse is my maiden captive.
In our rooms we shower and get cleaned up to proceed on towards our ritual union of meeting upstairs up in the Club Lounge on the 25th floor. When I get to the table, Joggy looks as stoned as I feel, “Was that awesome or what Mr B”, I am super charged, my penis is happy, I go to ask Nathan if his penis happy but his response is as coy as ever, “That guy was actually a good masseuse man, you shouldn’t have passed it up”, and then Jeff mentions something about Lively getting a male masseuse last time and then Nathan looks to Lively pleading for support, but Lively blushes and says, “I prefer a woman dude” and this is sweet victory, I fold my hands across my chest looking at Nathan in the eye, carrying on from Lively’s statement, “Me too Lively, me too” and Nathan just loses it and cracks up laughing.
I flick on the Samsung tablet while the guys get into the canapés and drinks, surprisingly nobody is all that hungry or thirsty right now so the gang paces themselves while I catch up on emails from home.
In our rooms we shower and get cleaned up to proceed on towards our ritual union of meeting upstairs up in the Club Lounge on the 25th floor. When I get to the table, Joggy looks as stoned as I feel, “Was that awesome or what Mr B”, I am super charged, my penis is happy, I go to ask Nathan if his penis happy but his response is as coy as ever, “That guy was actually a good masseuse man, you shouldn’t have passed it up”, and then Jeff mentions something about Lively getting a male masseuse last time and then Nathan looks to Lively pleading for support, but Lively blushes and says, “I prefer a woman dude” and this is sweet victory, I fold my hands across my chest looking at Nathan in the eye, carrying on from Lively’s statement, “Me too Lively, me too” and Nathan just loses it and cracks up laughing.
I flick on the Samsung tablet while the guys get into the canapés and drinks, surprisingly nobody is all that hungry or thirsty right now so the gang paces themselves while I catch up on emails from home.
Boo,
Sorry to hear about tum. I always get a healthy bout of pooing, cramping, sweating etc etc every time I go away. I strongly suspect it is from the sheer volume of crap I consume (and probably your problem too).
Sorry to hear about tum. I always get a healthy bout of pooing, cramping, sweating etc etc every time I go away. I strongly suspect it is from the sheer volume of crap I consume (and probably your problem too).
Have you purchased much yet?
I take my time and knock out a response email to Kelly to bring her up to date since she has caught up with my current events.
P-Sissy,
Yeah I spent most of the morning in bed
I missed out on drinks and cigars last nite
And this morning I missed out on the Batu caves
Yeah I spent most of the morning in bed
I missed out on drinks and cigars last nite
And this morning I missed out on the Batu caves
This arvo Nathan came to my room, got me all sorted and too me out to SOGO
Over at SOGO I bought some stomach bio bacteria stuff
I also bought some more underwear by Byfords
I looked at loafers by polo (not RL polo, the Asian polo, you know the one I mean)
I bought a gingham shirt by Columbia which is casual.
So I've got a fat roll of 50's, plenty of cashish left over.
I have just got back from a massage this evening
Sadly no Rn’T, not that I want that anyway.
Over at SOGO I bought some stomach bio bacteria stuff
I also bought some more underwear by Byfords
I looked at loafers by polo (not RL polo, the Asian polo, you know the one I mean)
I bought a gingham shirt by Columbia which is casual.
So I've got a fat roll of 50's, plenty of cashish left over.
I have just got back from a massage this evening
Sadly no Rn’T, not that I want that anyway.
I may end up shopping at Tangs later on tonite
Or maybe we’ll hit up Changkat Rd again for some food
Or maybe we’ll hit up Changkat Rd again for some food
I dunno yet, I just ate the first meal for the day, a burger from the lounge
I wasted more than half of it, my stomach is so hit and miss.
I wasted more than half of it, my stomach is so hit and miss.
Oh yeah, Jeff’s credit card got skimmed, dunno how.
I'm in the Club Lounge waiting to go out
ttyl
After sundowners we’re all sort of stuck with what to do, we know that this will be Nathan and Kym’s last night here and the plan for us all to go out and get all dressed up and go to the revolving tower restaurant is somehow pushed aside on the account that nobody actually feels like eating this evening and that having a drink probably isn’t such a bad idea.
We go our own ways after sundowners and reconvene in the sports bar downstairs about an hour later. When I arrive I can see that the fellas have already enjoyed a game of darts and have played a few games of pool. I bring down my cigars and ask if anyone would like to partake. I’m also under the misapprehension that the fellas were smoking their cigars the previous night but I quickly discover that this isn’t the case at all. “We were all waiting for you Mr. B” says Joggy cheerfully.
We go our own ways after sundowners and reconvene in the sports bar downstairs about an hour later. When I arrive I can see that the fellas have already enjoyed a game of darts and have played a few games of pool. I bring down my cigars and ask if anyone would like to partake. I’m also under the misapprehension that the fellas were smoking their cigars the previous night but I quickly discover that this isn’t the case at all. “We were all waiting for you Mr. B” says Joggy cheerfully.
Before getting into the cigars, Kym comes downstairs and we drink some more and while we’re all feeling merry and out come the cameras. We begin taking pictures of one another to remember the occasion, Kym takes a wonderful time lapse picture and manages to get everyone in frame. I salute the camera with my usual two finger peace sign, only in reverse with a cheeky grin.
Kym politely excuses herself saying goodnight and says we’ll see her again tomorrow at 10:30 just before she and Nathan leave for Singapore. We wave Kym goodnight sorry to see her go.
And after a short time later Joggy says, “Wanna get those cigars going?”
Kym politely excuses herself saying goodnight and says we’ll see her again tomorrow at 10:30 just before she and Nathan leave for Singapore. We wave Kym goodnight sorry to see her go.
And after a short time later Joggy says, “Wanna get those cigars going?”
And we do. The bar staff are keen to assist with a cutter, a nice two finger razored cutter with a snap like motion. The bar tender carefully measures the cut and we have a good sense of how much to remove thereafter. My memory of this night is all of the Drunkards smoking cigars in the sports bar, and it’s cool as fuck. We go through the Primeros in less than 20 minutes, then Lively and Jeff are eager to give their cigars a try out and I’ve got my Tubos 2000’s waiting ready to go as well.
After savouring the taste of the Davidoff Primero's I can't believe I’m up for another cigar.
Lively runs upstairs with Jeff to get theirs and along the way Lively bumps into a pair of tourists in the elevator who were sitting down from us in the sports bar who were also smoking cigars. They ask Lively how were his cigars? And Lively explains it was his first time smoking cigars and that he liked it. He tells them he’s headed back to his room to grab some different cigars so that we can keep going. The hotel guests then offer Lively to take some of their cigars from this box, which is almost a display case of some sort with all different types of cigars inside. Lively is bewildered by the generosity but humbly says, “Oh wow thanks, but I really want to try out the cigars I bought”
Our fellow cigar aficionados understand the situation and doon Lively and Jeff have returned to our table, both of them clambering are over which cigars we’re going to try next.
It ends up being a pissing contest and Lively has the largest gauge cigars, these will be anywhere from 45 – 60 minutes in the smoking and we discuss it and we’re not up for such a huge challenge. Lively says he really wants to try one of own so he selects one, when he offers the rest of his 4 pack to us all we reluctantly tell Lively to save the pack so that he can enjoy these with mates back home. Likewise my spare Primeros will be shared with Jason and Jenny back home, I offer up my Tubos 2000’s and Jeff intervenes, “You just shared your cigars, my turn”
Jeff makes the generous offer and says, “Here fellas try these G2000's” and Jeff is the patron saint of Drunkards everywhere, mega pimp, bestowing these fine Dominican rolled cigars our way. The G2000’s are a lighter leaf and when smoked this is quiet smooth to the palette, not as scratchy to the back of the throat which the Primero’s were. “This is gonna be good" says Joggy as Jeff hands out the cigars.
After savouring the taste of the Davidoff Primero's I can't believe I’m up for another cigar.
Lively runs upstairs with Jeff to get theirs and along the way Lively bumps into a pair of tourists in the elevator who were sitting down from us in the sports bar who were also smoking cigars. They ask Lively how were his cigars? And Lively explains it was his first time smoking cigars and that he liked it. He tells them he’s headed back to his room to grab some different cigars so that we can keep going. The hotel guests then offer Lively to take some of their cigars from this box, which is almost a display case of some sort with all different types of cigars inside. Lively is bewildered by the generosity but humbly says, “Oh wow thanks, but I really want to try out the cigars I bought”
Our fellow cigar aficionados understand the situation and doon Lively and Jeff have returned to our table, both of them clambering are over which cigars we’re going to try next.
It ends up being a pissing contest and Lively has the largest gauge cigars, these will be anywhere from 45 – 60 minutes in the smoking and we discuss it and we’re not up for such a huge challenge. Lively says he really wants to try one of own so he selects one, when he offers the rest of his 4 pack to us all we reluctantly tell Lively to save the pack so that he can enjoy these with mates back home. Likewise my spare Primeros will be shared with Jason and Jenny back home, I offer up my Tubos 2000’s and Jeff intervenes, “You just shared your cigars, my turn”
Jeff makes the generous offer and says, “Here fellas try these G2000's” and Jeff is the patron saint of Drunkards everywhere, mega pimp, bestowing these fine Dominican rolled cigars our way. The G2000’s are a lighter leaf and when smoked this is quiet smooth to the palette, not as scratchy to the back of the throat which the Primero’s were. “This is gonna be good" says Joggy as Jeff hands out the cigars.
I take the time to remove it carefully from the tube, applying a neat cut on the end with the cigar clippers, delighted at the swift action of the blades I make the mental note that I must buy some. Then lighting the cigar, holding the flame to it allowing it to burn on the end slowly before putting my lips to it, though this would have been better with long matches but then again I've held a cigarette lighter with an open flame long enough to know how to not get my fingers burnt.
When I puff on this sucker it is a true delight, it’s immediately smooth against the throat and I take mouthfuls of smoke and play with it, leaving it to trickle out my mouth in short puffs.
In this moment I am Toby Ziegler, enjoying the fine rewards of life, a nice drink on the side and the company of good friends. What’s unusual is that the lounge bar staff and other hotel staff have begun flooding into the sports bar ordering late night drinks and playing games of pools with colleagues. Even though the bar should probably be closed to the hotel guests it seems as though we are allowed to stay, the bar manager who is the same guy as last year has kept us all entertained with our favourite music on CD’s, drinks, snacks, and comes over and gives us all a nightcap - a tall frosty glass of Carlsberg beer. Awesome.
When I puff on this sucker it is a true delight, it’s immediately smooth against the throat and I take mouthfuls of smoke and play with it, leaving it to trickle out my mouth in short puffs.
In this moment I am Toby Ziegler, enjoying the fine rewards of life, a nice drink on the side and the company of good friends. What’s unusual is that the lounge bar staff and other hotel staff have begun flooding into the sports bar ordering late night drinks and playing games of pools with colleagues. Even though the bar should probably be closed to the hotel guests it seems as though we are allowed to stay, the bar manager who is the same guy as last year has kept us all entertained with our favourite music on CD’s, drinks, snacks, and comes over and gives us all a nightcap - a tall frosty glass of Carlsberg beer. Awesome.
Joggy and I stick with the cigars until we’ve got less than a third left to go, at this time the music slows and the bar is beginning to empty out. This is probably a good idea to stop smoking anyway, Joggy seems content to call it quits, and likewise with the feeling as though I’ve kept pace with him I ash my cigar and leave it to smoulder.
Some staff linger on, with drinks, jokes and playful behaviour with native girls and colleagues alike. Me, it’s time to go to bed. I wish the fellas goodnight and ride the elevator up to my room alone.
It was probably wise to end things on such a high note, Lively had done his best with his cigar too and I’m certain he wouldn’t feel as though he’d wasted money on such a fine thing. Jeff was actually turning a bit green while still smoking his Primero while we were getting started on his G2000’s.Some staff linger on, with drinks, jokes and playful behaviour with native girls and colleagues alike. Me, it’s time to go to bed. I wish the fellas goodnight and ride the elevator up to my room alone.
He’d volunteered that he was feeling a bit asthmatic, but yet he remained so bloody persistent to see what this cigar smoking thing was all about. What was surprisingly selfless of Jeff tonite is that he didn’t even light one up one of G2000’s for himself, he gave these out just because he wanted to watch his mates enjoy his fine cigars and no kidding these were easily the best.
I come into my room and the hotel has completed a room tidy up and the bed has been turned down ready for me to slide inside. I take a quick shower, choosing to throw on some Carolina Hererra CH for Men to mask the cigar smell. On my way back to the bed I power down all the lights of the room, and pick up after myself, folding clothes, putting things in their right place and then slide into bed nude.
With the remote control I scan the cable movie channels and here I am greeted by familiar ghosts of my bedtime sickness, and even though I should be at least a little pissed off at seeing them gathered here before me yet again, I instead greet them as familiar friends.
With a smirk forming at the corner of my mouth I turn off the bedside light and snuggle into the pillows propped up behind my head, I watch TV cast shadows move along the walls, the room bathed in the blue cathode glow of television, the ghosts here are quiet now, familiar friends they may be, I manage a wry smile and whisper back to the television – “Fuck you Percy Jackson”.
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