SUNDAY
The Captain of the Town
Part Three of Sister-kind
Part Three of Sister-kind
From what I recall about that first morning was waking up late and then navigating the shower temperature controls while using the hotel brand shampoo and conditioner as a substitute for my own favoured hair products which are sitting in my bathroom at home forgotten. I towel off with white towels that are too small for my frame, I use two towels to get dry then use them both to sop up the water that has leaked out of the shower. The bath mat is merely a short piece of towel and it is soaked through. I hang this and the towels over the edge of the bath tub before heading into the toilet.
What’s funny about my constitutional this morning is that there is a telephone handset attached to the wall that I’ve heard ringing while I was showering. I’m looking down at the toilet and I’m uncomfortable at how low the toilet is, I am closer to the ground than normal and it gives me no comfort having to squat over the toilet to snap. I flush watching the faeces with careful examination to determine if it matches one of the Bristol stool chart’s stool types. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Stool_Scale
Next, I begin the final grooming of myself and then proceed to unwrap every item of hotel issued toiletry, I shave, brush my teeth, then proceed to put on the same clothes I wore yesterday on the flight. The greasy denim jeans slide on easily and the sweat smelling Nike polo shirt hangs there stretched with collar curled and out of place.
I smile at the moustache wearing lad in the mirror, I rub the moustache sensing at how it’s all coming together and exclaim “Magnum” out loud. There’s no denying that it looks truly suspect, which is out of character for me as I’m nearly always cleanly shaven. But this moustache is for charity. You see, my university business unit honours an event we have each year in November that’s called Movember. Movember is where you grow a moustache and have friends sponsor you to grow it through to completion by the end of the month. All of the raised funds go to charity, specifically it’s for cancer research for Men’s prostate cancer and since I’m a member of a team if I go and shave off the Mo, even though I’m slightly concerned about my appearance on my first overseas holiday, my team would forfeit all of the money we have raised so far, a tidy sum of $350 dollars.
I walk across the hall to Jeff’s room and knock three times.
He asks did you hear the phone ringing? I blush and then lie, comically telling him I was in mid-snap and didn’t want to answer. He laughs at the gag and then we take the elevator to the private club lounge.
It’s a casual affair here this morning, it’s Sunday and the lounge is sparse for guests. We speak to the club lounge concierge for a moment and then proceed towards a self-serve breakfast buffet, which is somewhat smallish. I pick out a plate of fresh fruit and then go back and grab some cereal muesli that wasn’t too bad. Then Jeff discovers this amazing fruit juice that knocks my socks off, I mean like Wow it’s incredible. Once done with breakfast we walk over to the other side of the lounge and then both sit down at two desktop computers and proceed to check our mail, write home with email entries like you’ve just seen.
It was at this point we developed our routine which following breakfast would usually involve returning to our rooms for some more chillaxing for around half an hour. During which time this allowed for an early morning snap which would give us the courage to drag our fat asses out of our rooms and then head out into the streets.
While laxing Jeff phones me to ask if I’m ready, as at this point I’m still somewhat oblivious to the capabilities of room to room dialling.
We discuss the day’s itinerary and then proceed to scrap it almost entirely for the rest of the holiday.
We decided that shopping and finding the best stores to buy from should be the day’s top priority. I was even more motivated to achieve this as I had arrived in KL with an extremely light suitcase that allowed for only a few changes of tops and bottoms, including underwear and socks. So following breakfast and some chillaxing we went out through the lobby sliding doors and the taxi rank manager asks us if we want a cab, we say No then walk down the block into Bukit Bintang.
Along the way we find a money changer and I change over the better part of 320 AUD into MYR, Malaysian Ringgits, we get a good rate and are later told to use another exchange at the bottom of Sungai Wang / BB Plaza for an even more competitive rate. While standing at the cross walk a British tourist and his wife ask us if we know anywhere to watch the game, I ask, “Football?”, terming it correctly as they hate it being referred to as soccer, he rolls his eyes, “No, I meant the Rugby”, Jeff mentions our hotel has a sports bar and that he should come on over, the guy says, “I thought you were South Africans when I first hear ya, what are you anyway?” Jeff smiles and says, “We’re Aussies mate”, the British guy and his wife’s faces both light up with big bright smiles and say “Oh nice”, then lights change, the cross walk man goes green and we go.
Soon shortly thereafter we manage to find Sungai Wang and explore this and BB Plaza ever so briefly. We do a quick lap through Metro Jaya or Parksons to look at their Men’s clothes and underwear, I’m surprised at the labels here – Pierre Cardin polo shirts, Saville Row long sleeve business shirts, the choices of underwear by Kickers, Byford, Jockey but sadly no HOM or Calvin Klein thigh huggers. Of what I do know about male underwear is that boxers are a staple, but if you’re active and moving around a lot you can do little better than a pair of Calvin Klein thigh huggers to stop thigh chafing. I try on a Pierre Cardin polo that doesn’t fit well and quickly become frustrated and we leave.
While wandering out into the main complex of BB Plaza we start to get an idea on camera costs before hitting Low Yat Plaza in a day’s time. I look at the Sony Cybershot which is only 10 mega pixels, but a similar Samsung boasts a stunning 12 megapixels. Since Samsung is Malaysian owned we begin to notice that it’s this model camera that is being pushed heavily by almost every store we visit.
Along the way I eye spy two shoes outlets, one each for both Bata and Clarks. I go into Clarks first asking for Wallabies which are a crepe soled moccasin from their Clarks originals catalogue, they don’t have them, I see something else I like but file it away in my memory banks. Next, I go into Bata and find a decent pair of tan brown business shoes which are 59RM, which is $20 AUD. I file this away for another time.
Along the way I eye spy two shoes outlets, one each for both Bata and Clarks. I go into Clarks first asking for Wallabies which are a crepe soled moccasin from their Clarks originals catalogue, they don’t have them, I see something else I like but file it away in my memory banks. Next, I go into Bata and find a decent pair of tan brown business shoes which are 59RM, which is $20 AUD. I file this away for another time.
We cross over the main intersection of Bukit Bintang and visit Lot 10. The stores here are just opening and it’s already 10.30am. I take a look at Birkenstock and they do indeed have the black leather “Londons” that I am chasing. I file this away for later purchase.
We wander around Lot 10 like it’s a chore and head up and down escalators to win the scout achievement badge of – “having seen it all”. This becomes somewhat of routine of achievement pins for every shopping mall we visit. We wander quickly, we see an unattended drinks stand which is decorated with empty bottles of Grey Goose vodka and laugh at the silliness to it all.
We wander by Debenhams and Istean but don’t go inside. I recall something about an elevator ride to the bottom floor of Lot 10 and what I thought was seemingly blocked out of memory is Jeff leaving what will later be termed as a “business card” for a small family of three as we depart at street level.
We head out onto the street and the humidity is up, there is a large display cube to our left covered with digital television panels that reveal a small Asian lad doing a Celine Dion impression of “My heart will go on” that is pitch perfect. I suddenly want to own this child prodigy and parade him around the city in a backpack as a mascot. There’s signage postered all over the front of Lot 10 advertising the arrival of new phone company using “Yes” as their campaign slogan, what’s amusing is later on in the evening they will be using Star Wars Storm Troopers to hock their pamphlets, who are only all too agreeable to pose for pictures with the tourists. How awesome.
We decide to wander down the road towards Pavilion which we spy in somewhere the distance. My feet are already hurting a bit but my spirit is up so it doesn’t bother me. Jeff’s shoes, a pair of brogues are almost falling apart and since they are also business shoes they are not purposeful for the amount of walking we are intending. I concede I’m also tired and ask him if he wants to stop but he ushers me forward.
We wander by street side coffee shops with water mist vapour sprays that kiss a light amount of water onto their patrons to keep they cool. I notice that Carlsberg is on tap and that Hoegaarden beer is sold cheap. Then we get rushed by a street hawker promising the cheap sale of an iPhone 4, we look away uninterested, he tries for something else to engage our interest with his business card for prostitutes. He offers Chinese or Malaysian girls whatever we want, the stamp on the card reads Marlboro Escorts and I tuck the card into my pocket and say “we’ll see” and walk away.
We think we’re walking towards Star Hill Gallery but have no idea where it is. We pass by a shopping mall called Fahrenheit and go inside. The central display is a Xmas tree like structure made up out of silver CD’s, it looks horrible and gaudy and we move towards the escalator and go upstairs.
Once there we find a Casio store which sells G-Shock watches, I ask about the Riseman which is the Chinese Olympic’s Casio watch that my Dad wants and to my immediate relief they have one left in stock, I also look at a white G-shock for myself and another enlarged G-Shock in bright safety orange, very techno. I don’t buy anything from here either as this has been a recon trip, to find the things I am looking for, to get a price, then haggle. On the same floor Jeff finds a hobby store, I go in to join his fetish for plastic and ask the store attendant about Maschine Krieger, I even write it down for him as it’s commonly known as ma.K, he looks back at me clueless, to where I realise it’s not common after all. Jeff however considers a few Gundam kits but does not buy any of these yet, from talking to the store attendant we learn that Macross and Gundam kits are the most popular and so far after seeing hobby stores in BB Plaza and now Farenheit I haven’t seen any ma.K or World War 2 related hobby kits at all and I begin to wonder will I see any at all.
Jeff meets me at the escalator to go down we agree that we are both unfit and that the brief stint this morning has worn us both out. We turn around and begin walking back in the direction of the hotel. Along the way I stop at the 7-11 where I grab a few soft drinks, an A&W sarsaparilla drink and a couple of small tins of Carlsberg and a body spray deodorant. We dodge traffic and walk up the driveway, by this time my feet are sore as hell and it feels like I’m walking on stilts. We head back to our rooms and I select Star movies and tune into a movie with Nicholas Cage that I’ve managed to avoid so far.
Lounging in my room, I open the Carlsberg and drink it down fast, I open another and then kick back on the single sofa chair and put my feet up on the ottoman. After a minute, I shift restlessly and then schooch forward and leap frog off the ottoman towards the desk. It’s here that I’ve got my ASUS ePC open and I’ve been trying to work out how to connect to the hotels internet.
I call the front desk and complain about the constant buzzing sound coming from the centre console between the two single beds. It’s a fuzzy electrical sound that is headache inducing. The front desk promises that someone will be up soon.
We wander around Lot 10 like it’s a chore and head up and down escalators to win the scout achievement badge of – “having seen it all”. This becomes somewhat of routine of achievement pins for every shopping mall we visit. We wander quickly, we see an unattended drinks stand which is decorated with empty bottles of Grey Goose vodka and laugh at the silliness to it all.
We wander by Debenhams and Istean but don’t go inside. I recall something about an elevator ride to the bottom floor of Lot 10 and what I thought was seemingly blocked out of memory is Jeff leaving what will later be termed as a “business card” for a small family of three as we depart at street level.
We head out onto the street and the humidity is up, there is a large display cube to our left covered with digital television panels that reveal a small Asian lad doing a Celine Dion impression of “My heart will go on” that is pitch perfect. I suddenly want to own this child prodigy and parade him around the city in a backpack as a mascot. There’s signage postered all over the front of Lot 10 advertising the arrival of new phone company using “Yes” as their campaign slogan, what’s amusing is later on in the evening they will be using Star Wars Storm Troopers to hock their pamphlets, who are only all too agreeable to pose for pictures with the tourists. How awesome.
We decide to wander down the road towards Pavilion which we spy in somewhere the distance. My feet are already hurting a bit but my spirit is up so it doesn’t bother me. Jeff’s shoes, a pair of brogues are almost falling apart and since they are also business shoes they are not purposeful for the amount of walking we are intending. I concede I’m also tired and ask him if he wants to stop but he ushers me forward.
We wander by street side coffee shops with water mist vapour sprays that kiss a light amount of water onto their patrons to keep they cool. I notice that Carlsberg is on tap and that Hoegaarden beer is sold cheap. Then we get rushed by a street hawker promising the cheap sale of an iPhone 4, we look away uninterested, he tries for something else to engage our interest with his business card for prostitutes. He offers Chinese or Malaysian girls whatever we want, the stamp on the card reads Marlboro Escorts and I tuck the card into my pocket and say “we’ll see” and walk away.
We think we’re walking towards Star Hill Gallery but have no idea where it is. We pass by a shopping mall called Fahrenheit and go inside. The central display is a Xmas tree like structure made up out of silver CD’s, it looks horrible and gaudy and we move towards the escalator and go upstairs.
Once there we find a Casio store which sells G-Shock watches, I ask about the Riseman which is the Chinese Olympic’s Casio watch that my Dad wants and to my immediate relief they have one left in stock, I also look at a white G-shock for myself and another enlarged G-Shock in bright safety orange, very techno. I don’t buy anything from here either as this has been a recon trip, to find the things I am looking for, to get a price, then haggle. On the same floor Jeff finds a hobby store, I go in to join his fetish for plastic and ask the store attendant about Maschine Krieger, I even write it down for him as it’s commonly known as ma.K, he looks back at me clueless, to where I realise it’s not common after all. Jeff however considers a few Gundam kits but does not buy any of these yet, from talking to the store attendant we learn that Macross and Gundam kits are the most popular and so far after seeing hobby stores in BB Plaza and now Farenheit I haven’t seen any ma.K or World War 2 related hobby kits at all and I begin to wonder will I see any at all.
Jeff meets me at the escalator to go down we agree that we are both unfit and that the brief stint this morning has worn us both out. We turn around and begin walking back in the direction of the hotel. Along the way I stop at the 7-11 where I grab a few soft drinks, an A&W sarsaparilla drink and a couple of small tins of Carlsberg and a body spray deodorant. We dodge traffic and walk up the driveway, by this time my feet are sore as hell and it feels like I’m walking on stilts. We head back to our rooms and I select Star movies and tune into a movie with Nicholas Cage that I’ve managed to avoid so far.
Lounging in my room, I open the Carlsberg and drink it down fast, I open another and then kick back on the single sofa chair and put my feet up on the ottoman. After a minute, I shift restlessly and then schooch forward and leap frog off the ottoman towards the desk. It’s here that I’ve got my ASUS ePC open and I’ve been trying to work out how to connect to the hotels internet.
I call the front desk and complain about the constant buzzing sound coming from the centre console between the two single beds. It’s a fuzzy electrical sound that is headache inducing. The front desk promises that someone will be up soon.
I mess around with the LAN settings on my laptop before discovering that there is an XP driver missing or something I’ve not bothered to check properly before leaving home. Then the hotels technician arrives. He checks the room for the source and agrees with me that it’s coming from the centre console. He moves aside the wood veneer head board and messes around with the circuitry and with his tool belt of magic wands he manages to isolate the sound and ceases it to exist. He also checks why the minibar fridge has not been functioning and he pulls it out of the recess and turns on the fridge at the switch. I feel stupid for not trying this myself and I thank him profusely. I ask him about the internet service and he tells me I’ll have to contact the front desk and he leaves. I then head back to my desk where I begin rifling through the complimentary hotel office stationary. I work on my shopping list and begin tagging the things I’ve seen this morning.
After my list updates are complete I stumble across the hall to rouse Jeff. He has been kicking back as well and has hung the do not clean sign for the hotels cleaning service.
I ask him about Lunch and ask if he ready for a bite to eat? he says Yes and that he also needs to hit up an cash machine, an ATM. I’m unsure if an ATM will work for my normal everyday account so I’m keen to discover if this will work or not.
Before we head out we go upstairs to the lounge to check emails and then head downstairs to the lobby. We’re again determined to keep moving around Bukit Bintang on foot and walk around the block to the back entrance to Pavilion.
I ask him about Lunch and ask if he ready for a bite to eat? he says Yes and that he also needs to hit up an cash machine, an ATM. I’m unsure if an ATM will work for my normal everyday account so I’m keen to discover if this will work or not.
Before we head out we go upstairs to the lounge to check emails and then head downstairs to the lobby. We’re again determined to keep moving around Bukit Bintang on foot and walk around the block to the back entrance to Pavilion.
Upon arriving at the Pavilion, we walk to an ATM and I try my card and find that my everyday savings account works fine. I withdraw a fat bundle of ringgits and then wander away from the coffee strip inside. Pavilion is amazing, there are more speciality stores here than in my wildest dreams, we notice that in some of the stores, jewellery stores mostly, that there are men armed with rifles or shotguns. This doesn’t weird me out as you might think but the sight of it intrigues Jeff and he ponders whether not they’ve had to shoot someone recently or do these guns actually work and are they for display purposes only. Along the way we see another lone gunman asleep in a chair resting on his gun and we laugh.
My head is ready to detach from my shoulders as I’m constantly scanning left to right trying to take it all in, I gasp at the all of the fashion label stores here, I see a Coach store and immediately think of Kelly, I see Bally and think how much would a pair of Bally loafers cost? I see Brooks Brothers and marvel because we don’t have Brooks Brothers here in Perth. We wander into Parksons Grand and I see an in-store kiosk for Lacoste, Timberland and Ben Sherman. I mosey around for a bit check label sizes and then walk on and come back out onto the main concourse. Jeff says that he’d like to check out some shoes, I agree and we head into a Quicksilver store and we wander around looking at board shorts and backpacks. Jeff finds a wall display of sneakers that has more pairs of DC’s (DeConstruction) that I’ve ever seen, oh and the prices are so ridiculously cheaper than Perth I just can’t believe it. Jeff trys on two pairs and then settles for an all white canvas pair.
As soon as we’re outside the store Jeff immediately begins scanning for a bench for us to sit down.
We find one not too far away and Jeff hands me a sneaker and asks me to lace them up. We doffs his leather brogues into a bin off to our right and stands up wiggling his toes inside his new sneakers.
He’s smiling, so surprised at the difference this has made to his feet, he then turns to me and says “Wanna get lunch?”
My head is ready to detach from my shoulders as I’m constantly scanning left to right trying to take it all in, I gasp at the all of the fashion label stores here, I see a Coach store and immediately think of Kelly, I see Bally and think how much would a pair of Bally loafers cost? I see Brooks Brothers and marvel because we don’t have Brooks Brothers here in Perth. We wander into Parksons Grand and I see an in-store kiosk for Lacoste, Timberland and Ben Sherman. I mosey around for a bit check label sizes and then walk on and come back out onto the main concourse. Jeff says that he’d like to check out some shoes, I agree and we head into a Quicksilver store and we wander around looking at board shorts and backpacks. Jeff finds a wall display of sneakers that has more pairs of DC’s (DeConstruction) that I’ve ever seen, oh and the prices are so ridiculously cheaper than Perth I just can’t believe it. Jeff trys on two pairs and then settles for an all white canvas pair.
As soon as we’re outside the store Jeff immediately begins scanning for a bench for us to sit down.
We find one not too far away and Jeff hands me a sneaker and asks me to lace them up. We doffs his leather brogues into a bin off to our right and stands up wiggling his toes inside his new sneakers.
He’s smiling, so surprised at the difference this has made to his feet, he then turns to me and says “Wanna get lunch?”
We take an escalator ride to the bottom floor and wander into the food court which is massive when compared to anything I’ve ever seen in Perth and Melbourne combined. I’m eager to try out some Asian cuisine but unsure where to begin. Jeff spy’s a store he’s familiar with in Sydney, it’s a Tony Romas restaurant and it’s supposed to be really good food. I reluctantly agree and Jeff reassures me not to worry this is going to be great. We start off with a drinks order and I go for a Root Beer float, something I’ve always wanted to try but never had the chance. My Malaysian mate from Melbourne, Jacob, would always go on about Root Beer floats, and after a sip I can see why, it’s incredible, so much so I manage to make a mess of it so that the drink froths up and a good portion of it goes onto the floor.
For entrees we order these chicken bites that come with a ranch style dressing and some potato skins which almost fills me to the brim. Then out comes my burger and chips and I’m literally only a quarter of the way into this before I have to abandon it. By the time we’re done with lunch and the bill has come I’m so full I’m feeling sleepy. Jeff insists on paying for everything reassuring me by saying “don’t worry about it” and that I can return the favour later on in the week.
I’m not sure how but we trudge back to the hotel to put our feet up.
For entrees we order these chicken bites that come with a ranch style dressing and some potato skins which almost fills me to the brim. Then out comes my burger and chips and I’m literally only a quarter of the way into this before I have to abandon it. By the time we’re done with lunch and the bill has come I’m so full I’m feeling sleepy. Jeff insists on paying for everything reassuring me by saying “don’t worry about it” and that I can return the favour later on in the week.
I’m not sure how but we trudge back to the hotel to put our feet up.
We hang out in our own rooms, I try to take a nap but nothing comes of it, I remember feeling really anxious when we sat down to lunch, like a mild anxiety attack, but can’t place my finger on the cause because there is nothing wrong at all, everything has been perfect so far. I don’t like how I felt during lunch, I felt like I was ready to unravel, for no reason in particular. I decide that this isn’t going to spoil the day or tarnish the great lunch we had on that first day. I turn on the TV and see a straight to video movie that doesn’t have Nicholas Cage and lounge about for a bit until Jeff raps on my door and asks if I want to go out again.
We hit the street and after a block into the journey we’re already tired, I’m certain that lunch hasn’t fully digested and that walking it off isn’t helping. We start to wander further down the street past BB plaza determined to find a t-shirt outlet and along the way are offered foot and shoulder massages every which way we turn, I mention to one of the ladies as I pass by “I like your feet” and she stares back at me weird. We go another block further, turn around and enter BB Plaza from the basement entrance. I’m no more than a few metres into the mall and off to my right I spy a New Balance store, I go inside and buy a pair of this seasons urban hikers, it’s a model that is coloured predominately in dark grey, black with yellow trim. I also buy an outrageously expensive pair of socks for no reason at all and then we head upstairs into Metro Jaya and Jeff and I spend some time looking at Men’s underwear. I settle on two pairs of Kickers boxer shorts and Jeff opts for a twin pack of Byfords. We go back into Clarks and a buy a brown leather pair of shoes for around 130RM, they’re casual and nice and I’m happy I’ve got two pairs of shoes from this expedition. But realistically shoes isn’t really all I need. What I need most is more tops and bottoms and in all of time we spent wandering around this morning I haven’t seen anything that has a cut that will fit to the shape of my body.
I’m losing patience when we cross over from Sungai Wang and head into the basement of BB Plaza and begin walking around corridors of stores, we’re wandering aimlessly without any purpose and I realise that this shopping expedition is drawing to a close. Before we give up Jeff wanders by a Levis store and to the left Jeff sees another store selling a competitor brand of jeans called Lois. Jeff asks the store owner a question – “Do you think you could find him a pair of pants” pointing over at me, the store owner says “Of course”, I’m being dismissive and tell him my waist size and again he’s smiling saying “No problem”. This guy is incredible, he drags me into the shop all smiles and reassuring then he asks me straight out – “Jeans or Pants” I say “Pants”, then preface “Chinos”. He nods his head and goes to a rack and pulls out three different colours and hurry’s back, while he’s gone I’m saying to Jeff that I’m unsure of this place but he says, “Don’t worry, it’s cool”. The store owner and Jeff strike up a conversation while I’m bundled up in the change room trying on the various pairs of pants.
While I’m being handed pants in three different colours Jeff and the store owner get into a conversation, I can hear some of it but not everything. I struggle into the first pair a 40” waist which I can do easily in Levis denim, but when the waist button and the button hole don’t meet up I ditch them to the floor and move onto the next, a 42”. To my relief that fit better, but still really tight. “Feel good?” the store owner sings out. I make some guff about the comfort around the waist, the store owner asks if I would like to try on another size, Jeff is making a hand gesture to suggest the size increase “up up up” he gestures and the store owner hurry’s back with a 44” and a 46”. I try on the 44” and the store owner asks me to step out of the change room he’s immediate in checking the waist, “Not much room there” he says. I say they feel good but he’s discouraged, “No, pants need to fit more comfortably” he hands me a pair of 46” chinos and I go back inside the change room and try them on. While changing I ask about this brand, the chinos are branded with the name Dr Cardin, he says, “it’s a local brand” and since I usually only buy brand names that I know and trust I’m feeling a little uncertain about this brand of pants.
Meanwhile Jeff and the store owner have been talking about Australia and our lives there, sometime during the conversation the store owner asks Jeff, “Is he your friend?” meaning me. Jeff laughs it off and says “No, he’s my Dad”. The store owner can’t believe it, “He’s your Dad? You look nothing alike” but Jeff easily counters with, “Oh he’s my step Dad”, the store owner doesn’t believe him at first but then to cement the story Jeff says, “Mum thought it would be good if we spent some time bonding together, getting to know one another away from home, just me and him”.
Now, you have to remember that I’ve heard none of this, so after getting into the Herringbone twill coloured chinos I step out and the store owner comes on over and checks the waist line, he says, “Oh this is much better, very loose, casual” I agree that it’s loose, but the thigh area of the pants is so loose I could do the MC Hammer dance right in my pants, they’re so baggy. The store owner smiles and says, “No problem” he takes out a tape measure and hugs my thigh and decides they need to come in a few inches, then he checks the leg length and then pins these up so that they sit properly. I stand there with the leg adjustments made and he says to me, “So ask your Son how you look?” I stare back at him confused, “What?” he then gestures to Jeff, “Your Son, ask how he think you look?” Jeff starts to say “Oh you look good…” when I interrupt somewhat shocked at his inclination by saying “He’s not my Son”. Then it hits me, Oh fuck, Jeff what have you been saying.
Then store owner plays it off with mocking seriousness, “What? You trick me, you tell me he your Dad” Jeff laughs it off, “well, he could be, he is almost 13 years older than me”
The store owner focuses back to business, he says “Ok, so this pair and which other?” I ask for a grey pair and he’s discouraged by my selection, he says “Sure but I have nicer colours, I have a brown a black and different lighter more traditional Chino colour” and he does have an excellent range, to which I later regret not following up on as the HBT coloured chinos are still my favourite chinos in my wardrobe. After changing back into my jeans I ask about t-shirts, the store owner is straight with me on this point, “No, but I have shirts” He hands me a white short sleeve shirt. I try this on and again have to change up a size or two, till eventually I like the fit of the white short sleeve. I agree to buy this and another in olive drab. After a shirt wait in-store of around 15 minutes the chinos are back from the tailors. The grey pants have only had there leg length adjusted and I don’t like these too much thereafter. But nevertheless I’m pleased with the purchase, we smile and shake hands with the owner, he tells me that he too is a father, he has two boys and that, “You should give your son a good clip”, meaning a good smack over the head, I smile thanking him once again, I tell him, “I will” and also express how he’s saved my bacon and he offers for us to come back later if we want to buy more pants. I file this away, considering the more traditional Chino colours and we move on further down BB Plaza.
We head back to the hotel and it’s already late afternoon, while in our rooms I parade around in my new chinos and Clarks shoes and like the two outfits I have purchased. The short sleeve shirt is kinda big, I look like the typical fat tourist twat but I like it, with the moustache I could be Dom DeLouise.
I change back into the other pair of chinos and leave the white shirt on and lounge about while flicking through the in-house cable TV channels.
Around 5ish Jeff and I head upstairs to the club lounge and get into some sun downers and canapés.
The finger food selection is incredible, I take a small plate of chicken wings and fruit and head back to a table Jeff has secured. Attending us is a smiling Asian boy in his late teens, I decide to call him “Kiki”. Jeff has returned from the drinks table, it’s a self serve setup and Jeff returns upset that they don’t have bourbon. He drinks a combination of two different fruit juices mixed together which I try and my taste buds go off, it’s incredible. I get up after smashing my canapés and go fetch myself a drink. At the drinks table I notice that there’s a bottle for every spirit, but all of these bottles are no name brands, there’s a steel bucket of premixed drinks, another filled with cans of beer and then another filled with cans for mixing spirits. I decide to make my own drink and choose a tall glass and using a pair of steel tongs drop a few chunks of ice into the bottom of the glass, next I add a very liberal portion of Gin and grab a small can of Indian tonic water and lemon. I go back to our table to find that Jeff has also discovered the various finger food deserts that they have on offer.
I proceed to down at least four of these drinks in rapid succession and pretty soon I’m tipsy and happy. Meanwhile our waiter Kiki is making eye contact with me every time he clears away the plates or glasses, as tipsy as I might I be I figure that he’s either just unusually excessively happy, or that he’s probably laughing at me, or curiously that he is probably coming on to me. I choose the latter and decide that being attractive while boozing isn’t so bad, so I flirt with Kiki a little and lead him on. But still there’s something bothering me, I remiss about not picking up the Bata’s I saw for 59RM, I tell Jeff that I should have bought them and Jeff says, “We can go get them now if you like?”
We go outside and the sun is almost setting as we head towards BB plaza, while at the cross walk the rain starts and it comes down as thick heavy drops and I’m immediately soaked through. It feels good though, refreshing, it cools everything down and the humidity drops a little. We go into Sungai Wang/BB Plaza and head up to Bata, the aircon in the shopping centre dry’s us off in rapid succession. I try on the tan pair I’d seen earlier and then agree on the price of 59RM, pay the cashier and take an elevator to head back down to the street level.
We hit the street and after a block into the journey we’re already tired, I’m certain that lunch hasn’t fully digested and that walking it off isn’t helping. We start to wander further down the street past BB plaza determined to find a t-shirt outlet and along the way are offered foot and shoulder massages every which way we turn, I mention to one of the ladies as I pass by “I like your feet” and she stares back at me weird. We go another block further, turn around and enter BB Plaza from the basement entrance. I’m no more than a few metres into the mall and off to my right I spy a New Balance store, I go inside and buy a pair of this seasons urban hikers, it’s a model that is coloured predominately in dark grey, black with yellow trim. I also buy an outrageously expensive pair of socks for no reason at all and then we head upstairs into Metro Jaya and Jeff and I spend some time looking at Men’s underwear. I settle on two pairs of Kickers boxer shorts and Jeff opts for a twin pack of Byfords. We go back into Clarks and a buy a brown leather pair of shoes for around 130RM, they’re casual and nice and I’m happy I’ve got two pairs of shoes from this expedition. But realistically shoes isn’t really all I need. What I need most is more tops and bottoms and in all of time we spent wandering around this morning I haven’t seen anything that has a cut that will fit to the shape of my body.
I’m losing patience when we cross over from Sungai Wang and head into the basement of BB Plaza and begin walking around corridors of stores, we’re wandering aimlessly without any purpose and I realise that this shopping expedition is drawing to a close. Before we give up Jeff wanders by a Levis store and to the left Jeff sees another store selling a competitor brand of jeans called Lois. Jeff asks the store owner a question – “Do you think you could find him a pair of pants” pointing over at me, the store owner says “Of course”, I’m being dismissive and tell him my waist size and again he’s smiling saying “No problem”. This guy is incredible, he drags me into the shop all smiles and reassuring then he asks me straight out – “Jeans or Pants” I say “Pants”, then preface “Chinos”. He nods his head and goes to a rack and pulls out three different colours and hurry’s back, while he’s gone I’m saying to Jeff that I’m unsure of this place but he says, “Don’t worry, it’s cool”. The store owner and Jeff strike up a conversation while I’m bundled up in the change room trying on the various pairs of pants.
While I’m being handed pants in three different colours Jeff and the store owner get into a conversation, I can hear some of it but not everything. I struggle into the first pair a 40” waist which I can do easily in Levis denim, but when the waist button and the button hole don’t meet up I ditch them to the floor and move onto the next, a 42”. To my relief that fit better, but still really tight. “Feel good?” the store owner sings out. I make some guff about the comfort around the waist, the store owner asks if I would like to try on another size, Jeff is making a hand gesture to suggest the size increase “up up up” he gestures and the store owner hurry’s back with a 44” and a 46”. I try on the 44” and the store owner asks me to step out of the change room he’s immediate in checking the waist, “Not much room there” he says. I say they feel good but he’s discouraged, “No, pants need to fit more comfortably” he hands me a pair of 46” chinos and I go back inside the change room and try them on. While changing I ask about this brand, the chinos are branded with the name Dr Cardin, he says, “it’s a local brand” and since I usually only buy brand names that I know and trust I’m feeling a little uncertain about this brand of pants.
Meanwhile Jeff and the store owner have been talking about Australia and our lives there, sometime during the conversation the store owner asks Jeff, “Is he your friend?” meaning me. Jeff laughs it off and says “No, he’s my Dad”. The store owner can’t believe it, “He’s your Dad? You look nothing alike” but Jeff easily counters with, “Oh he’s my step Dad”, the store owner doesn’t believe him at first but then to cement the story Jeff says, “Mum thought it would be good if we spent some time bonding together, getting to know one another away from home, just me and him”.
Now, you have to remember that I’ve heard none of this, so after getting into the Herringbone twill coloured chinos I step out and the store owner comes on over and checks the waist line, he says, “Oh this is much better, very loose, casual” I agree that it’s loose, but the thigh area of the pants is so loose I could do the MC Hammer dance right in my pants, they’re so baggy. The store owner smiles and says, “No problem” he takes out a tape measure and hugs my thigh and decides they need to come in a few inches, then he checks the leg length and then pins these up so that they sit properly. I stand there with the leg adjustments made and he says to me, “So ask your Son how you look?” I stare back at him confused, “What?” he then gestures to Jeff, “Your Son, ask how he think you look?” Jeff starts to say “Oh you look good…” when I interrupt somewhat shocked at his inclination by saying “He’s not my Son”. Then it hits me, Oh fuck, Jeff what have you been saying.
Then store owner plays it off with mocking seriousness, “What? You trick me, you tell me he your Dad” Jeff laughs it off, “well, he could be, he is almost 13 years older than me”
The store owner focuses back to business, he says “Ok, so this pair and which other?” I ask for a grey pair and he’s discouraged by my selection, he says “Sure but I have nicer colours, I have a brown a black and different lighter more traditional Chino colour” and he does have an excellent range, to which I later regret not following up on as the HBT coloured chinos are still my favourite chinos in my wardrobe. After changing back into my jeans I ask about t-shirts, the store owner is straight with me on this point, “No, but I have shirts” He hands me a white short sleeve shirt. I try this on and again have to change up a size or two, till eventually I like the fit of the white short sleeve. I agree to buy this and another in olive drab. After a shirt wait in-store of around 15 minutes the chinos are back from the tailors. The grey pants have only had there leg length adjusted and I don’t like these too much thereafter. But nevertheless I’m pleased with the purchase, we smile and shake hands with the owner, he tells me that he too is a father, he has two boys and that, “You should give your son a good clip”, meaning a good smack over the head, I smile thanking him once again, I tell him, “I will” and also express how he’s saved my bacon and he offers for us to come back later if we want to buy more pants. I file this away, considering the more traditional Chino colours and we move on further down BB Plaza.
We head back to the hotel and it’s already late afternoon, while in our rooms I parade around in my new chinos and Clarks shoes and like the two outfits I have purchased. The short sleeve shirt is kinda big, I look like the typical fat tourist twat but I like it, with the moustache I could be Dom DeLouise.
I change back into the other pair of chinos and leave the white shirt on and lounge about while flicking through the in-house cable TV channels.
Around 5ish Jeff and I head upstairs to the club lounge and get into some sun downers and canapés.
The finger food selection is incredible, I take a small plate of chicken wings and fruit and head back to a table Jeff has secured. Attending us is a smiling Asian boy in his late teens, I decide to call him “Kiki”. Jeff has returned from the drinks table, it’s a self serve setup and Jeff returns upset that they don’t have bourbon. He drinks a combination of two different fruit juices mixed together which I try and my taste buds go off, it’s incredible. I get up after smashing my canapés and go fetch myself a drink. At the drinks table I notice that there’s a bottle for every spirit, but all of these bottles are no name brands, there’s a steel bucket of premixed drinks, another filled with cans of beer and then another filled with cans for mixing spirits. I decide to make my own drink and choose a tall glass and using a pair of steel tongs drop a few chunks of ice into the bottom of the glass, next I add a very liberal portion of Gin and grab a small can of Indian tonic water and lemon. I go back to our table to find that Jeff has also discovered the various finger food deserts that they have on offer.
I proceed to down at least four of these drinks in rapid succession and pretty soon I’m tipsy and happy. Meanwhile our waiter Kiki is making eye contact with me every time he clears away the plates or glasses, as tipsy as I might I be I figure that he’s either just unusually excessively happy, or that he’s probably laughing at me, or curiously that he is probably coming on to me. I choose the latter and decide that being attractive while boozing isn’t so bad, so I flirt with Kiki a little and lead him on. But still there’s something bothering me, I remiss about not picking up the Bata’s I saw for 59RM, I tell Jeff that I should have bought them and Jeff says, “We can go get them now if you like?”
We go outside and the sun is almost setting as we head towards BB plaza, while at the cross walk the rain starts and it comes down as thick heavy drops and I’m immediately soaked through. It feels good though, refreshing, it cools everything down and the humidity drops a little. We go into Sungai Wang/BB Plaza and head up to Bata, the aircon in the shopping centre dry’s us off in rapid succession. I try on the tan pair I’d seen earlier and then agree on the price of 59RM, pay the cashier and take an elevator to head back down to the street level.
We leave BB Plaza and outside it’s early evening. I ask Jeff if he is hungry and he says No, I indicate that I’ve had enough food for today as lunch was filling enough and we head back to the hotel.
On the walk home we spot a small monkey sitting on a bicycle rack, there’s a box of some kind mounted on the back of the bicycle, on top of the box the monkey is caring for a litter of cats, the monkey has a small vest and baggy pants, he looks like Aladdin. Oh and he’s tending to at least three cats, I’m told later that these cats are in fact the monkeys own pets.
We walk by restaurants and outside restaurant staff are shouting at us to come inside and to at least look at the menu before strolling on by. We ignore this and head up the cobble stone ramped driveway to the hotel and head inside.
Before returning to our rooms we head upstairs to the club lounge and then use the two desktop computers to send emails home.
*warning* for you and only you.....
On the walk home we spot a small monkey sitting on a bicycle rack, there’s a box of some kind mounted on the back of the bicycle, on top of the box the monkey is caring for a litter of cats, the monkey has a small vest and baggy pants, he looks like Aladdin. Oh and he’s tending to at least three cats, I’m told later that these cats are in fact the monkeys own pets.
We walk by restaurants and outside restaurant staff are shouting at us to come inside and to at least look at the menu before strolling on by. We ignore this and head up the cobble stone ramped driveway to the hotel and head inside.
Before returning to our rooms we head upstairs to the club lounge and then use the two desktop computers to send emails home.
*warning* for you and only you.....
tonite Jeff and i posed as father and son and believe me with my dangerous moustache we can pull it off adequately.
in our routine i managed to score a couple of pairs of chinos to get around in and two short sleeve shirts for no obvious reason at all, they are no name brand, but they fit, so who gives a f**k - saved as draft.
in our routine i managed to score a couple of pairs of chinos to get around in and two short sleeve shirts for no obvious reason at all, they are no name brand, but they fit, so who gives a f**k - saved as draft.
Ok, i'm just returned from the cocktails and tossed back 4 Gn'T's for luck swimmingly famous and dressed in my new chinos and cotton short sleeve shit shirt it was awesome plus i've got vegetable grade pharmaceuticals in the safe when i get back from typing this haha! get that up ya skirt scored a pair of Clarks shoes this arvo, very casual, plus a pair of very urban NB's this place is fucking sick as i'm really loving it so far. And thankfully Jeff is way into it too saw the pavilion, lot 10, bb plaza and some guy's wang plaza, oh and farenheit.
I'm buying shit thats not strictly needed more add on's accessories that always get missed back home, i feel like i'm 17 and visiting adelaide for the first time.
i don;t fit into the upper body garments here so i've drafted a short list of whats desired and i thinks that i should be okay. i wish it were YOU that i was doing this with so fkn surreal this is, the whole thing
i don;t fit into the upper body garments here so i've drafted a short list of whats desired and i thinks that i should be okay. i wish it were YOU that i was doing this with so fkn surreal this is, the whole thing
regards,
your bent and cracked up brother
Kelly’s response the next morning.
Ah, you stupid drunk douche .... your email made me laugh :)
Glad to hear you are loving it (and obviously the cocktail hour). KL is my favourite place, and I wish I were there with you. Its so funny, you get addicted to buying everything you see, cos there is much of it, and when you get a good price, you've just gotta have it!
Glad to hear you are loving it (and obviously the cocktail hour). KL is my favourite place, and I wish I were there with you. Its so funny, you get addicted to buying everything you see, cos there is much of it, and when you get a good price, you've just gotta have it!
Did you go to parkson grand?
Don't forget to check out Bata for shoes (can't remember - I think its in BB Plaza). Oh, SHIT! I almost forgot - there is a tepanyaki bar in BB Plaza (3rd or 4th floor) - that is so cheap and so YUM, you will cry.
Keep me informed!!!
Xx
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